Tuesday, November 19, 2013

YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US! Comps Edition

Hey Friends,

So this is Comps Week at TCNJ.  Wahhhhh.  Comps week is the week leading up to the SPED (Special Education) grad school exit exam.  Anyway, we've all been on edge and are about .00000453253 seconds away from a complete nervous breakdown 100% of the time.  Fun times!  So here is a list of reasons why YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US IF:

-If you are wearing pants with an actual zipper.  High fives all around for leggins and yoga pants!

-You haven't been brought to tears by the simplest things.  Guess what Autocorrect?  Maybe I DID mean to type Rhanks!  You don't know my life!  I don't need (sniffles) this kinda (tears.  Actual human tears) pressure in my life right now.  (Full on waterworks) I don't need you to criticize me, too.  (Rub LC worthy mascara tear from your eyes)

-Your hair is brushed, combed, straightened, curled, styled, etc.  Just NO!  Say it with me, "Messy bun.  Spray.  Repeat.  Every Day!"

-Your heel height is anything but flat.

-You eat less than 2,500 calories a day.  Bread.  Cheese.  Carbs.  Chocolate.  A constant rotation of these bad boys are now your diet.

-You don't drive around with an open box of Entenmann's chocolate chip cookies from Heaven, blaring Michael Buble's Christmas CD on full blasty blast, with your grad student friend (you can only hang out with these people now because they know your truth.  They also know that 9 am study dates are where it's at).  You roll your windows down to share Mr. Buble's heavenly, velvety angel voice because "Just because we're miserable doesn't mean the rest of the world should be denied the pleasure and joys of Christmas!"

-You're happy and/or smiling.  Don't come near us with your merriment.

-You're non-SPED friends have seen you lately.

-Finding out your desired sweater for today's leggin ensemble isn't dry doesn't make you cry.

-After said sweater incident occurs, you look through your bleary, teary eyes to see your mom's shirt hanging (dry) and you ask her to borrow it so you don't have to put on the enemy (pants with zippers) because let's face it, you've been through enough and it's not even 8 am yet.

- You don't use phrases like "I remember a time when I was happy.  It was fleeting, but I remember it."

-You aren't melodramatic...see above

-You listen, pay attention, participate, remember your supplies for class.  Not this week!  Attendance is your contribution.  Even if you are present but not all here.  That's acceptable.  Staring blankly at your professor also communicates multiple phrases including but not limited to:  I understand, yes, no, why am I here, what do you want from me, pink, classroom discourse, and any other answer that is desired of you.  Coherent sentences are optional this week.

-You have time to answer your texts.

-You process information at a normal speed without having to say "What?" three times.

-You haven't made any Post-Comp Night Out plans yet.

-You are caught up on any current television shows, magazines, movies, global happenings.

-You haven't had or are on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

-You know what a normal nights sleep is like sans nightmares about failing the Comps.

If you can truthfully attest to being able to do any of the aforementioned things, this week you most definitely CAN'T SIT WITH US!

SPED ladies hold on...T-4 days!  If you see any SPEDs i.e. TCNJ zombies, give us a hug.  We need it.

hugs and kisses,


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