Mixed Signals

Happy Tuesday!

I'm currently wearing sweats and sitting inside because it's freezing (ok it's 77 degrees) and pouring rain!  NOT HAPPY!

It seems to be clearing up though, so I may go enjoy the albeit brief, sunshine.

So let me tell you what's been going on with life lately instead of cryptically posting things on this blogaroo about a mean boy.

So, if you're of age, pour yourself a glass of champs and cozy up.

About 5 months ago, a boy came out of the blue and we started dating and had a blast.  About a week in he told me that his ex was trying to get him back.  Being the confident girl I am I blew it off with a, "don't worry I don't scare easy" attitude and thought nothing of it.  Well, about a month later he broke up with me for her.  I liked him because we were complete opposites.  I'm super Type-A, over analytical, organized, and enjoy going out.  He is laid back, fly by the seat of your pants, and a homebody.  I liked him because he balanced me out.  He made me have a more Type-A- personality.  I did the usual blow off at common places where I saw him and went about my life like a champ.  Then, we started talking and flirting all the while he still had a girlfriend.  Not my best decision or judgement, but it was harmless.  Then, he left for the summer and I moved on.  Like I really moved on, I stopped checking his Facebook as any post-break up masochist does (come on, you've all done it :)) and I started to feel like my old self.  

Cut to life post-move, he haunts me.  We've all heard of relationship ghosts.  They leave only to return when you think you are over them and moving on.  Carrie Bradshaw says it best:


You do this every time! Every time! What? Do you have some sort of radar? Carrie might be happy - it's time to sweep in and shit all over it? -Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and The City, American Girl in Paris Part I

Do boys, I'm not even going to dignify them as men because men, real men, don't pull this crap, really have some sort of radar?  I feel like as soon as I'm over this particular guy, he comes in and wrecks my progress.  

So I've been doing what any logical, intelligent, single woman in my Louboutins would do…I consult my iPod, Taylor Swift, and Pinterest to solve my life dilemmas.  


At Saturday's concert, Taylor told me (and 60k other people) that relationships should be simple--you can go or you can STAY.  I listened and was like, yes, Taylor gave me a definitive sign!  Thank you Tay Tay.  Then, the ghost came back yesterday.

Then, I consulted my iPod--Tay's Clean came on.  Great!  Tay sent me another sign!  Then, Tay sent me a mixed message--I Wish You Would came on.  Grrrrrrr.

When your iPod and Taylor are both indecisive, it's time to turn to Pinterest.  I logged in and this was the first pin I saw on my dashboard.

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I really identified with it.  Sometimes I (like my homegirl Andi Dorfman) feel like if/when a relationship goes south, you have personally failed.  As a Type-A girl, I can't fail.  I don't do well with failure.  I never learned to accept failure well.  But maybe failed relationships aren't really failures.  Maybe, they are lessons that we are meant to help us eventually win.  

I know that I deserve better than the crumbs of attention that Ghost Boy doles out at his whim.  I need to expunge the ghost by telling him to go away.  I just can't.  It's weird and messy and complicated, but I can't.  

I'm going to try to let this go.  I'm going to try and not respond to his texts, wave like he's just an acquaintance when I see him, and realize that everything isn't meant for forever.  

I found solace in this quote because it tells us, that some people are just meant to come in for a brief moment to teach you a lesson--something tangible for you to take with you on this fun little journey through life.  

Sorry for the downer post, but I wanted to be open with you all about what's been going on.  

Have you ever experienced a ghost like me?  How did you get rid of the ghost?

Love love love,

E

Words to Live By

Happy Hump Day!


My favorite quote is actually courtesy of Criminal Minds.  Romantic, I know :)


 It doesn't take a lot of strength to hang on, it takes a lot of strength to let go -J.C. Watts

This is very true.  I mean, heck, I held on to the idea that my Scooby Doo overalls were cute until well into middle school.  If you're wondering, yes Scooby did jump out of on of the front bib pockets :)  It was rough, but I learned to Let IT Go!  and even though it was tough, I'm a stronger and (more fashionable) person for it!

But, think about, it anyone can hold on to anything.  If you're wondering, I still hold onto way more than necessary.  It would take way more strength for me to think Elsa and LET IT GOOOOO!  LET IT GOOOO!  But, alas, I am not one with the wind and sky.

I hold on to all kinds of things I shouldn't.  Artifacts from past relationships, notes from college that I will not ever look at again.  Coconut water in my fridge that I know I won't drink ever again, because it's narsty.  Speaking of, excuse me while I go toss that--just typing that made me realize how gross that is.  I hold on to it because it's comfortable.  I'm familiar with it.  Familiarity doesn't cause growth, though.

I think it takes a very strong person to let it go.  It's hard to turn away from the familiar even if it doesn't suit your needs--even if it's negative, even if it is hard.  I think I might make this my New Year's Resolution.  I used to think that I had hope--always holding out for that guy to call me back, that trend to come back in, that suddenly my taste buds would love coconut water, but guess what?  He's Just Not That Into Me, Scooby Doo overalls were never in style to begin with will never come back in style, and I will never love coconut water because it tastes like survival food.  I think it takes a strong woman to say goodbye to the familiar and venture out into the scary unknown.  It's scary to walk away from relationships because of the fear of the unknown.

But, I think with that walking away, that letting go, you are saying, this is unacceptable and I can and will do better.  I have faith in myself that I can do better and be better.  When I look at it through that lens, it makes it easier.  It makes it seem like if I don't let go, I'm literally betting against myself.  And I always bet on me.

So friends, what is your motto?  I find that if I'm in need of a pick-me-up I head over to Pinterest and cruise the quotes section until I feel fabulous again.  I highly suggest it :)

Enjoy your day!

-E

Ex-Girfriends Club: The Best or Worst Idea I Have Ever Had

Happy Thursday Everyone!!

Today was Day 2 of Student Teaching.  We had a delay so it was really just another 4 hour day.  Tomorrow I will be there allllllll day!  I'm really liking it!  I still feel lost, but I am learning.  Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement!  It really meant/means a lot to me!

Okay, so I think this post pretty much defines the label of land o' rando.  Ahhh, to be in the brain of Erin.  It's a crowded place if you were wondering.

Well, here we go.  I think it's safe to say that we have all seen First Wives Club.  If you haven't, you need to run-don't walk-to your local Netflix (if you don't have it, go next door.  In my experience, if you bring a baked good, they'll let you watch for free.  That might be a college thing (and by baked good I mean a box of Entenmann's) so I'd knock first.  But worth a shot, right?  Anyway, I think we can all say that First Wives Club is the zenith of late 80s-early 90s leading lady material.  (With the exception of Meryl Streep.  Meryl legitimizes any film.  She's the female Morgan Freeman.  Come on, that man made the world care about the migration pattern of penguins.  He and Jennifer Aniston also added much needed intelligent credence to Bruce Almighty.  Side note--in my heaven, Morgan Freeman is also God.)  My brilliant plan is like 80% First Wives Club and 20% Ross Geller's Divorced Men's Club.  Yes, Chandler we'd let you play basketball here.  Could we BE more generous?   It's the Ex-Girlfriends' Club.


Ok before you scream this is a disaster of Britney Spears at the 2007 VMAs proportions hear me out. 

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You, and all your exes exes meet up at a safe, neutral place. Probably a coffee house with a fire place and comfy oversized chairs.  Nowhere any of you went on a date with him. You would all sit around and chat, gossip, exchange war stories, nurse broken hearts and wounds of yesteryear together. And yes, you do have to invite the newest ex gf no matter how much she may or may not look like a muppet and no matter how fake her nails are.  Claws down ladies.  Welcome her into your coven.  Yes you can still think she's a downgrade.  We all know he'll never find anyone as awesome as you.  We agree you were the gem that will forever be missing in his crown.  Taylor Swift and Adele will come with beckoning soft open arm voices through the radio(does that make sense?) and freshly baked cookies and chocolate will come wafting through the room.  P.S. everyone has to eat the cookies and chocolate because we're not playing the she's hotter than me game here.  We're all equally hot.  Also when we're ready, Carrie Underwood and Beyonce will replace Tay Tay and Adele. When the time is right of course, when the time is right. 


Why is this a brilliant idea?  Well here's why. A) we know you all stalked each other. And isn't it time you put that Facebook and Instagram stalking findings to good use?  Yes ladies it is.  
B) You may have even scrolled through their likes and in between mocking her that her favorite book is Twilight, you maybe see that oh wow she likes Carrie underwood too. Maybe she's not an idiot stick figure with no soul after all? C) you probably have a lot in common.  D) You could share pearls of wisdom like these:

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Now before you burn me at the stake and scream "how could I, the best thing that has ever happened to him, have anything in common with her" let me explain. The common factor in all of these relationships is him. You're all his type. You're probably all blonde, or brunette, or tall, or short. You're probably all into sports or you all like to read. Or you're all funny.  Notice I didn't say smart, we all know boys don't like smart girls.  At the very least, you all liked him!  Or maybe you are the exception to his rule.   God knows I've been the only normal boxcar in the crazy train of exes exes, but mostly you can find common ground.  Also, if you are the only normal boxcar in the crazy train, don't you wanna know about those looney tunes?  God knows I do!  People have types and at our age, they rarely stray. 

You also are all bonding over the one of two female friendship solidifies: heartbreak. The other female  friendship solidifier? Giving a stranger a tampon in the bathroom. We all have done this and been the recipient of this. We also all saw the Sex and the City episode where Carrie gives the maître d a tampon and they get a table. It's true!  You will be life long besties if you give a tampon to another woman.

You can all bond over this heartbreak, over this person who hurt you all. You can trade ideas and solutions about how to heal and move on. Also you can mock him endlessly (which, while it is technically mean, it is the pinnacle of healing)!!!  Who else in this world knows why he wears denim on denim, or why he thinks planning dates in military time is good idea, or why he insists on singing show tunes in the car?  These are all based on true events!  I think it would be a beautiful thing. Also you may make new friends and that's always a win!

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Also, think of the revenge!  One angry ex scares the pants off any man. Think of what 3-5 of them will do!  Picture this: it's a Friday night you look super hot you post that you're going on a Girls Nite with your new bffs and you tag all 5 of these women. Exes mind will be blown! (Clearly he's still sitting at home on a Friday fretting over his pathetic life because he lost all of you) and BAM now you post pix where you all look hot to trot and he's like noooooo the worst has happened!  No William hung isn't doing a lullaby album, my exes have united to wreak havoc on my newsfeed!  This is genius ladies!  Ultimate revenge. Ultimate healing. 

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So, this idea is just in the planning stages, like a beta-club right now, but I think it has potential.  

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If you ever try this, let me know!  I'm still debating if I will try this.  If I do I'll share!

xoxo,

Erin

Where My Girls At?!

Do you remember that song?  It was a late 90's-early 2000's jam that I came to love during my awkward pre-tween years at dance.  This was one of the songs the "big girls" danced to.  By "big girls" I mean they were 13 and I was 11.  I wasn't in the much adored "big girls" class...yet.  (For any of you interested I became a "big girl" at age 12)   Anyway, I just enjoyed a mucho needed Zumba class with Stef.  The class kicked our booties and I just felt totally off.  It took me a few dances to get into my Zumba groove, eventually I got there though.  Anyway, as I looked around my Zumba class I couldn't help but notice:  Where The Boys At??  Zumba, like most of my favorite lifeventures, is a very Girl Power typa thang.  Hmmmm...

In keeping with the Girl Power life weltenschauung I have working for me I realized something.  People are always telling ladies where to meet gentlemen and this got me thinking...maybe women need to back off the Sacagawea explorer band wagon and let the gentlemen find us.  I know, I know, men are terrible with directions and they'd never find us ;) So this can just be a fun little list about the places gentlemen could go to find ladies if they so chose.  These happen to be my favorite places...just saying...

1) Zumba.  This is a room full of senoritas dancing and shaking to Latin beats.  Who wouldn't want to scour this place for chicas?  Guys you're already at the gym working on your fitness, why not try a little Zumba.  Senoritas love senors who can boogie...just saying...

2) The Ballet.  Okay, this place is chocked full of single ex-ballerinas.  The ballet is naturally romantic, boys all you have to do is just show up and throw in these 3 little words:  tondu, passe, and tour jete.  You don't really even have to know what these mean.  Just say them and the patrons will think you know what's going on.  (Think about when girls memorize words like catalytic converter, axel, and Xbox...we don't care what they mean, we just wan to impress you)

3) Pilates.  Most of the ladies who go to Pilates are again, ex dancers.  Plus, Pilates is surprisingly a very sexy form of exercise.  *Note I did not put striprobics on this list....no bueno senoritas*

4) Barnes & Noble.  Ahhhh my own personal Heaven.  Ladies venture to B&N because, as Carrie Bradshaw, Queen of all things dating, says about Book Heavens, Book Heavens, "house all the best love stories."  Ladies are suckers for love stories.  Even feisty feminists like yours truly quiver in the knees when they read a well written love story.  B&N also houses the Children's Literature section and the Biography/History section. Of these two, I am a frequent patron.  These are easy places to strike up a conversation with a lady.  It also lets you bypass all of the awkward small talk and creepy pick up lines and go right for the meat.  Try "Hey, are you a big fan of (fill in author/subject/character...do not say movie)?"  And you're in...it's like a secret code girls have (Elf reference!!  3 days until I can watch that movie)

5) The Mall.  Gentlemen, I can't stress this enough:  Ladies love the mall.  Why?  Oh I don't know, they sell shoes there?!  All you have to do is wander the mall on a Saturday or Sunday and you will see swarms of ladies there.  All you have to do is ask our opinion on something for your MOM (Side note-ladies lerve giving their opinion on anything...especially clothes.  This is seen as a compliment because secretly you have told us that you like our outfit without creeping us out!  Mazel Tov!  NEVER just ask our opinion on a sweater or necklace because we will assume it's for your girlfriend.  Always lead with "I'm picking a birthday present out for my mom_______________".  P.S. we won't care if you are fictitiously celebrating your mom's birthday, we'll forgive you because we'll think it was sweet.

6)  Cupcake or Specialty Dessert Stores.  Here is some Erin Kitley math at it's finest.  This is like the commutative property.  Girls are A.  Cake is B.  Boys are C.  Girls Love Cake.  If boy buy girl cupcake, girl loves boy.  A+B=C.  B=B+C.  Tada!!  MATH.  BOOM.

7)  Baseball Games.  (Any sporting even will do, but this girl likes baseball best)  If any girl is at a baseball game with her girlfriends you need to wife her up.  Girls who like sports are winners.  Girls who like sports also eat boneless buffalo wings and cake.  You want a girl who will hold her own in an eating contest.


Alrighty fraaaands, this is just a small list of places where gentlemen can meet quality ladies.  Ladies, I hope you echo my feelings about these places and feel free to add your own.  I think we need to redirect the idea that women should go to certain places to find gentlemen.  Gentlemen need to pick up the slack!!  :)


Have a Marvelous Monday,

Er

Rocking My New Zumba Swag!
*I know I dislike ladies who dress up for the gym but I got this on sale at a little French boutique you may have heard of called, Tarje?  Aka Target for all you Americans who butcher the French language.  Phoebe Buffay, ladies and gentlemen.  

What To Do When He's Just Not That Into You

Okay, so I just finished watching He's Just Not That Into You...pretty much the worst movie ever.  Here's why:

1)  It promotes the notion that even if a guy ignores you, treats you like crap, and is all in all awful to you, if you hold on long enough, he will eventually be yours.  Do you know why he will eventually be yours?  No not because he was meant to be yours, no, all the girls that knew their worth (that he did NOT see) LEFT!!  They strapped on their Louboutins and sashayed away to bigger and better things.  TRUE STORY GIRL!  Remember, think F. Scott Fitzgerald

Remember this is not going to make you feel better right away...but it will.

2)  It promotes cheating on your wife.  GROSS

3)  Jennifer Aniston does NOT get enough screen time.

So this movie got me thinking what it is that I do to help me get over guys when my limp and lifeless iphone reminds me that he's just not that into me.  Feel free to borrow/copy/add any of your own perkerupperers to the list:

1)  WEAR HIGH HEELS JUST BECAUSE!  This is crucial because heels always make you feel more confident.  Even faked confidence makes you feel better.  I prefer Monsieur Louboutin's because each painful step forces me to remember, "Damn, I look good in my shoes!"

2)  GO OUT!  Do NOT sit down...EVER!  Call every friend you know and just go out.  I prefer dinner with a really good friend who will provide you with the perfect balance of cuddles, tough love, inspiration, and humor.  Life is better like this.  Even if you don't want to go out...GO OUT!

3)  MAKE A NEW PLAYLIST.  Every relationship needs a soundtrack.  These are a few of my favorites:

"Cups" Anna Kendrick from Pitch Perfect
"Brave" Sara Bareilles
"Defying Gravity" Kristen Chenowerth and Idina Menzel
"More to Me Than You" Jessica Andrews
"So Much Better" Laura Bell Bundy
"Catch My Breath" Kelly Clarkson
"Since You've Been Gone" Kelly Clarkson
"Girls" Beyonce
"22" T-Swift
"Somebody's Everything" Dolly Parton
"Best Days of Your Life" Kelly Pickler
"Thanks for the Memories" Fall Out Boy
"Country Girl (Shake It For Me)" Luke Bryan (song is awesome plus he is yummy!)

****Any and all country songs are usually my top pick*****

4) AVERSION THERAPY!  Have a best friend, co-worker, mother, sister, barista, or anyone you are wallowing to point out when you are being pathetic and whining.  This is crucial. Yes we all want people to be warm and cuddly like our fav snuggly jammies when we come to the realization that he's just not that into you, but what we need is someone to force you to look at all of your good qualities and reiterate that you can and will be just fine.  *I don't support saying mean things or slamming the guy because if he can't tell you to your face that he's just not that into you, then who he is is really self explanatory.  No need for anyone to waste any breath more breath on him.*

5)  GET A HOT REVENGE DRESS!  Revenge dresses come in two colors:  black or red.  Even as a self professed pink phanatic I stray from my signature color (kudos to those of you who got and appreciated the reference) and go with BOTH!  Sometimes you need two nights to go out and look fabulous.

6)  This is the most important rule:  Never, Ever, Ever, feel bad about yourself. If he's just not that into you, well guess what?  Someone once was probably just not that into him, and once you were probably just not that into someone.  It's a vicious cycle my friends.  And it's better to be one frog closer to Prince Charming, right?

So, go ahead, put on your snuggly jammies, curl up with some chocolate cake (prefereably from Wegman's) and pop in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion and relax.  Yes, yes, all of this is easier said than done, but I promise (from a girl who has been there maaaaaaaaaannnnnnnyyyyy times) it will indeed get so much better!

P.S. NO ONE SHOULD EVER HAVE TO WATCH HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.  EVER!!

How To Be The Bad Guy

Okay, this is a sad/awkward/personal post.  This is about boys who are just really nice guys.  They are the guys that would treat you like a princess.  You know the guy that would do anything to make you happy.  Literally he would drop anything just to see you smile.  However, this lady doesn't like to be treated like a princess.  It's just too much!  We've all seen the episode of Sex and the City where The Russian writes a song for Carrie, buys her the pink Oscar dress, and takes her out on a romantic night on the town.  The whole night is perfect, everything any girl would want.  Then Carrie faints.  She says, "It's just too much!  I'm an American!"  This captures my feelings to a T! 
     
I prefer to be treated like a lady.  What's the difference between a princess and a lady you ask?  About a million miles!!!!  A princess girl (PG) will write on her honey's Facebook wall at least once a day.  These posts usually fall into 2 categories:  Extreme Praise or Extreme Complaining.  An example of each?  Sure!  

Extreme Praise post:  "I love love love my (enter name here) because he painted my nails OPI's Privacy Please before he bought me new diamond earrings then surprised me with dinner at (enter name of an expensive chain restaurant)!  I love you baby so much!  Mwah!"  This is just a typical usual post for the princess girls.  

Extreme Complain post: "(enter name) I couldn't say good night to you last night because you didn't answer your phone!  Now I'm sad and mad at you because I had to go to bed without saying goodnight.  I love you!"  This is a passive aggressive post from PGs.  If you want a really good laugh just read the comment from her honey that follows...it usually looks like this "I'm sorry I was out but I texted you before saying I wouldn't be able to talk,"  poor guy.  GET OUT NOW!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

p.s.  These PG posts are probably written within 2 weeks of dating.  PGs say I Love You like it's their job...because it very well may be.

Ladies are women that don't need a man.  They want a man.  Their man doesn't define their lives he only enhances the level of awesome.  Ladies don't expect men to do anything for them.  Ladies go on dates without expected men to pay for them, but ladies allow men the privilege of paying for them.  Ladies also offer to go halvsies on dates because ladies have jobs and are not self-conscious about ordering "real-girl dinners".  Ladies act like ladies and do not post a lot on their honey's FB walls.  Ladies' posts fall into many categories (because a lady is not defined by such simple constraints as praise/complain)  These categories are (but not limited to) funny jokes that are not too personal, random  YouTube videos, quotes from movies/tv shows you have seen together, NO WHERE/WHEN/TIME/PLACE will a lady ever complain or air her grievances with the Facebook community.  Why don't ladies do this?  Well, because ladies know that if their man doesn't answer them there is probably a REAL reason.  Ladies also have full plates and don't have time to worry about where their honey is.  Ladies trust their men.  

Okay, so now that I have explained the difference (and you probably have categorized every girl you know into one of the two) I will now go back to the title of the post.  How to be the bad guy.  We've all been there, the guy we've been on a date or two with just isn't it.  He's probably too sweet, too put together, just too much!!  He's the guy that you'd be lucky to date, but there's just no spark.  

Sparks...ahhhh the worst line in any break up.  Literally I hate this word, but sometimes there is nothing else to describe that certain je ne sais quoi.  Sex and the City calls it the zsa zsa zsu.  Another one of my favorite bloggers, Shallon Lester, calls it The Icks.  The Icks means that the guy is probably attractive, sweet, nice, smart, great, but you just aren't attracted to him.  

Okay, why am I writing about this?  Because I have recently experienced this.  A few times actually.  I'm not the type of girl who always has a boyfriend...the opposite is true.  I'm usually the girl who is single because I am extremely picky.  (That's for a different blog post)  I really like being single and doing my own thing.  I need my space and with that being said I really don't like when guys crowd or suffocate me.  Some of my most successful and happiest relationships have been long distance ones.  LDRs work for me because I get my space, he gets his space, and when we see each other it becomes a treat not a chore. 

So, what to do when the nice guy starts talking to you and you realize there just isn't anything there.  Well, here's what I do...please tell me if you have a better plan because I would like LOVE to know.  Okay here goes:  

Put your big girl pants on and fess up-he deserves an honest answer.  I always say, "I did have fun tonight, but I'm really not looking for a relationship.  I don't want to lead you on.  I wish you nothing but the best and I hope that (enter career venture/class/hobby) goes well."  BE HONEST!  You would want/deserve that from someone and he does too. You need to respect him and his feelings.  

Accept that you are going to be the BAD GUY-You are the bad guy there is nothing you can do about it.  This is going to hurt him but you want to do it as gently as possible.  He's probably going to be sad or upset or hurt and you need to take the focus off you and just make it as quick and painless as possible.  I hate when people say it was amicable or no one's the bad guy, because let's be honest, someone wanted the other person more, somebody got hurt, and somebody IS the bad guy. You can be the nicest person in the world and be as caring as possible but if you dump someone, you hurt them, and that makes you feel/look like the bad guy.  Most times when you dump someone you are the bad guy and you have to accept this.  I try to point out all of the positives in the other person and I never say what they were lacking.  That's disrespectful and rude.  That is not "accepting being the bad guy" that's relishing in being the bad guy and that is wrong.  

How did I come up with this?  Well, my dears, it comes from being dumped...repeatedly.  I have been dumped with a variety of fun excuses.  Here are some of my favs:

"Your birthday and Christmas are really close together and that is expensive!"  Ahhh what  a gem!
"You're not the kinda girl anyone dates in college.  You're the kinda girl you marry."  This one is a sorta compliment and I do take it this way because it clearly says A) I'm not a slutty girl B) I'm marriage material lol
One person quoted the scene from He's Just Not That Into You...I didn't appreciate the irony because Jen Aniston is my girl and she's in that movie..

Most girls would be sad and upset about this (and believe you me, I was/am) but I brushed myself off and learned from these experiences.  I decided to dissect these words and compiled a list of things I wished they would have said.  I also mined these lines for things that I did like.  (i.e. the marriage material bit).  And what did I come up with... my bad guy line.  Obviously after you are the bad guy, you need to bow out gracefully.  DO NOT text/call/email/FB chat/comment/tweet/like/retweet/etc them. Let them move on with dignity.  Don't confuse people or lead them on.  





We can't help who we are attracted to.  We can't like someone we don't.  But we can follow the Golden Rule which is "Treat Others The Way You Want To Be Treated".  This is a motto that LADIES follow.  Princesses don't follow this motto.  PGs only care about themselves.  Ladies care about others' feelings before their own.  So remember be a lady not a PG and tell him early and as nicely as humanly possible.  You don't want to waste theirs or your time.  

xoxo,

Erin