Monday, October 28, 2013

Where My Girls At?!

Do you remember that song?  It was a late 90's-early 2000's jam that I came to love during my awkward pre-tween years at dance.  This was one of the songs the "big girls" danced to.  By "big girls" I mean they were 13 and I was 11.  I wasn't in the much adored "big girls" class...yet.  (For any of you interested I became a "big girl" at age 12)   Anyway, I just enjoyed a mucho needed Zumba class with Stef.  The class kicked our booties and I just felt totally off.  It took me a few dances to get into my Zumba groove, eventually I got there though.  Anyway, as I looked around my Zumba class I couldn't help but notice:  Where The Boys At??  Zumba, like most of my favorite lifeventures, is a very Girl Power typa thang.  Hmmmm...

In keeping with the Girl Power life weltenschauung I have working for me I realized something.  People are always telling ladies where to meet gentlemen and this got me thinking...maybe women need to back off the Sacagawea explorer band wagon and let the gentlemen find us.  I know, I know, men are terrible with directions and they'd never find us ;) So this can just be a fun little list about the places gentlemen could go to find ladies if they so chose.  These happen to be my favorite places...just saying...

1) Zumba.  This is a room full of senoritas dancing and shaking to Latin beats.  Who wouldn't want to scour this place for chicas?  Guys you're already at the gym working on your fitness, why not try a little Zumba.  Senoritas love senors who can boogie...just saying...

2) The Ballet.  Okay, this place is chocked full of single ex-ballerinas.  The ballet is naturally romantic, boys all you have to do is just show up and throw in these 3 little words:  tondu, passe, and tour jete.  You don't really even have to know what these mean.  Just say them and the patrons will think you know what's going on.  (Think about when girls memorize words like catalytic converter, axel, and Xbox...we don't care what they mean, we just wan to impress you)

3) Pilates.  Most of the ladies who go to Pilates are again, ex dancers.  Plus, Pilates is surprisingly a very sexy form of exercise.  *Note I did not put striprobics on this bueno senoritas*

4) Barnes & Noble.  Ahhhh my own personal Heaven.  Ladies venture to B&N because, as Carrie Bradshaw, Queen of all things dating, says about Book Heavens, Book Heavens, "house all the best love stories."  Ladies are suckers for love stories.  Even feisty feminists like yours truly quiver in the knees when they read a well written love story.  B&N also houses the Children's Literature section and the Biography/History section. Of these two, I am a frequent patron.  These are easy places to strike up a conversation with a lady.  It also lets you bypass all of the awkward small talk and creepy pick up lines and go right for the meat.  Try "Hey, are you a big fan of (fill in author/subject/ not say movie)?"  And you're's like a secret code girls have (Elf reference!!  3 days until I can watch that movie)

5) The Mall.  Gentlemen, I can't stress this enough:  Ladies love the mall.  Why?  Oh I don't know, they sell shoes there?!  All you have to do is wander the mall on a Saturday or Sunday and you will see swarms of ladies there.  All you have to do is ask our opinion on something for your MOM (Side note-ladies lerve giving their opinion on anything...especially clothes.  This is seen as a compliment because secretly you have told us that you like our outfit without creeping us out!  Mazel Tov!  NEVER just ask our opinion on a sweater or necklace because we will assume it's for your girlfriend.  Always lead with "I'm picking a birthday present out for my mom_______________".  P.S. we won't care if you are fictitiously celebrating your mom's birthday, we'll forgive you because we'll think it was sweet.

6)  Cupcake or Specialty Dessert Stores.  Here is some Erin Kitley math at it's finest.  This is like the commutative property.  Girls are A.  Cake is B.  Boys are C.  Girls Love Cake.  If boy buy girl cupcake, girl loves boy.  A+B=C.  B=B+C.  Tada!!  MATH.  BOOM.

7)  Baseball Games.  (Any sporting even will do, but this girl likes baseball best)  If any girl is at a baseball game with her girlfriends you need to wife her up.  Girls who like sports are winners.  Girls who like sports also eat boneless buffalo wings and cake.  You want a girl who will hold her own in an eating contest.

Alrighty fraaaands, this is just a small list of places where gentlemen can meet quality ladies.  Ladies, I hope you echo my feelings about these places and feel free to add your own.  I think we need to redirect the idea that women should go to certain places to find gentlemen.  Gentlemen need to pick up the slack!!  :)

Have a Marvelous Monday,


Rocking My New Zumba Swag!
*I know I dislike ladies who dress up for the gym but I got this on sale at a little French boutique you may have heard of called, Tarje?  Aka Target for all you Americans who butcher the French language.  Phoebe Buffay, ladies and gentlemen.  

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