Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Hump Day Confessions

Happy Wednesday!

2 more days!   2 more days!

It's confession time today ladies!

1.) My favorite pair of yoga pants has an unfortunate hole in the crotch.  Normal people would throw them away, but I just can't!  They are soooo comfy and it's just a little hole...No I don't just wear them to bed either.  Sometimes they are my morning bagel run pants.  It's not like I'm bending over in them, so it's fine?!  And sometimes like tonight I run out of real non holey yoga pants (I have 7 pairs of perfectly intact yoga pants--but none are as comfy) and I wear them to Zumba.  Zumba is a standing workout so it's NBD because I don't bend over or straddle anything.  The booty may also be saggy but they're 6 years old so who cares about the molecular integrity of the pants?

2.) When I don't know or can't do a Zumba move I just whip out a ballet equivalent.  Sowhatwhocares?  Sometimes people think it looks impressive?  Maybe?  NO?  I should just stop and actually learn the move called the cut cut ninja?

3.) I still have my Limited Too shorts from 3rd grade.  I'm 23.  Limited Too is no longer a store.  They have little puppies playing sports on them!  What's not to love?  And who doesn't want DANCE emblazoned on their booty with rhinestones?  Thankfully after 13 years the rhinestones have worn off/fallen off/jumped off/sacrificed themselves to the sequin god, because how did we sit?  I mean owwww!  Sitting on a rhinestone is to your booty what finding a Lego is to your feet!  Not comfy!

4.) I don't understand the hockey craze.  I'm from Philly and I know we're all supposed to bleed orange and black, but hasn't anyone heard of baseball?  Or football?  I know you need something to amuse yourself during the cold winter months and since the Sixers are, well the Sixers, it's hard to find your sports fix, but come on!  After 5 years of French, I still can't pronounce a majority of the players' names and if I can't say, "Oh yeah __________ had an amazing hat trick last night" without stumbling over all those vowels, then, no I don't wanna be a fan.

5.) I judge girls who wear dresses to baseball games.  And the ones in heels.  Get over yourself!  Wear a jersey!  Show some team spirit!  Who are you trying to impress?  The players can't see you way up there in the upper deck...

6.) I also judge people at sporting events who are wearing completely wrong sports, cities, or team jerseys to the event.  If you are at a Philies game you have a few options:  Phillies gear (duh), whoever they are playing.  This are the first and obvious choices.  I don't wanna see your Minnesota Timberwolves jersey in Citizen's Bank Park.  Yes, wolves are majestic creatures, but they have no place in Philly!  I will allow Eagles/Flyers/Sixers/Wings gear at the game.  I will allow gear from the opposing team's city--but keep your random sports gear to yourself!  Wear it on your couch with your digital MLB Network loving self.  Don't bring it in my stadium!

To read about some of my other Phillies Snafu's and Things I deteste about people at games click here----->What the Phillies Game Is NOT



Friday, May 23, 2014

10 College Confessons

Hey Friends!

Happy Friday!  We made it to the unofficial start of summer~~Memorial Day Weekend!!

We should also remember to give a big thank you to all of our armed forces who have given their lives for all the things we hold dear.  Thank you and may you rest in peace knowing that Americans are truly grateful for your service, dedication, and sacrifice.  We love you!  (I know that technically this is not the holiday to honor our present military personnel, but I think everyday should be thank the armed forces day so thank you to all those who have served, are serving, and will serve.)

Do you have any good plans?  I have mucho plans!  Phillies game tommorrow with padre, then Sunday I have a grad party, and Monday I have a whole day of pool lounging and catching up on my rising stack of neglected back issues of Glamour and Cosmo.  Then, it's more The Bachelorette goodness!


So I found this from one of my favorite bloggers PBfingers and I thought, whaaaat a great idea!  I love posts like these because I like to find out random things about my favorite bloggers.  So here goes 10 Secrets.  Since I recently graduated (1 week 2 days!!) I will make them college themed secrets!

  • I never went to a college ever.  Mostly because I am hugely afraid of getting in trouble.  My parents told me that if I was ever caught with alcohol under age I would be cut off.  I didn't want to pay for college all by myself, so I stuck to their rules.  TCNJ also has a one and done alcohol policy for all education majors.  Another reason I never went was that I never saw the appeal--like who really wants to spend hours in a sweaty basement, drinking warm, cheap beer, and fending off creepers all night?  Not this girl!  Haven't y'all heard of Netflix and this little thing I like to call pizza?  PLUS--this would require me to wear a mini skirt in the middle of not shaving my legs for months winter.  I think I'll pass.  Besides, I worked Friday nights and Saturday mornings...can't teach 3 year olds tap with a hangover...I'm a proud goody two shoes!

  • I once made Muddy Buddies in a trash bag.  If you haven't had Muddy Buddies get out from under your rock and mosey on over to Pinterest and find the recipe.  Enjoy!  Anyway, we didn't have a big bowl to mix God's gift to the world in, BUT we did have an abundance of trash bags!  Did anyone else have about 1,000,000 trash bags?  I still have pink trash bags left over!  What we lacked in the bowl department, we made up for in the ingredients department!  College fridges are great because you have the most random crap all the time!  We had peanut butter, chocolate, and Chex Mix (someone also was using powdered sugar for a lesson so we had that, as well).   So we problem solved and melted a non-microwavable bowl in the microwave  with a trash bag.  Don't judge, it was faaaaaantastic! 
Belushi levels of college y'all

  • As I said earlier, I'm a proud goody two shoes; however, I do like to have my own sort of fun.  Mostly these involve pranks, being a goof, and binge watching Netflix!  (I do consider watching 9 seasons of How I Met Your Mother in 2 months one of my greatest college accomplishments--you know, right there behind the Masters)  So one night when our RA was supposed to be at a magic convention (not the bunny out of a hat kind-the card game kind--don't worry we were confused, too), my suitemates and I decided to race our night stands down our dorm hallway.  Great idea, right?  Wrong!  Half way down my super duper fun ride--the RA comes out of his room and says, "What are you doing?!"  He then proceeds to come down and read us the riot act about our misconduct.  We skated by with a warning--and his yelling fit on film :)  If you're going to try this at home dorm--make ABSOLUTELY SURE that your RA is at their magic convention.  Also, using, "We thought you were at your magic convention," as your main defense will not hold up.  

  • I once slept through a 10 am class.  I woke up at 10:15 and decided that by the time I got up, dressed, and booked it across campus I would arrive around 11 and since the class ended at 11:20 that it wasn't really worth it.  Plus then I'd have to admit to my professor that I overslept.  I went to Target to get an alarm of course :)

  • I never repeated an outfit.  Ever.  Yes it was a pain in the booty, but what are you going to do? I also never wore sweats to class.  I just feel like you should dress in a way that shows that you put effort into your appearance.  It makes people think you care about them and what they have to say.

  • TCNJ has a grill under the frosh dorms called TDUBS.  It was open from 6 pm to 1 am and it sold grilled food, snacks, Mexican food--basically all the food you should definitely not eat ever!  After night classes (and before I could have Madden with me to drive to Wawa) I frequented TDUBS for a cheeseless chicken cheesesteak (yes 80% of the time they added cheese and had to restart).  I would add buffalo sauce to my chicken cheeselesssteak and when I squirted the orange goo on my sandwich, I would write positive words/hopeful notes or other upbeat things with the sauce.  My most common buffalo sauce mantras:  Fearless (TSWIFT 4E), A+ please, and happiness.  Total dork move!

  • Cara and I drove to Geno's at 3 am one night during Finals Week because we were stressing and needed that sweet release that only greasy food can provide.  We were 20 and we didn't tell our parents--rebels we are ;)

  • Continually won Prank Wars with our neighbors!  Some of our best ones?  Decorating the interior of our friend's car with crepe paper, mailing our friend's laundry to him, and kidnapping various room decor items from our not so compliant across the hall neighbors.  
Oh yeah!

  • I only got in trouble with my RA's a few times.  Once was the aforementioned--and totally worth it night stand racing--the other?  Because of my laugh.  Yep, I got in trouble for laughing too loudly. I snort when I laugh and apparently one of my grumpy neighbors didn't like it and yelled down the hall at me to shut (insert expletive--any one you choose since she yelled a whole bunch at me) up.  Then my RA (frosh and soph year) had to ask me to keep my laughing down.  Womp, womp, womp!  Also, both of these snorting/laughing events took place on a Friday night when I was watching Friends with Ra in our dorm room.  

  • I hated Jaclyn and she hated me!  We couldn't stand each other.  Now she's one of my BFFs and I couldn't imagine what life would be like without her.  She's the Michael Scott to my Todd Packer.  Remember, as Elle Woods told us, First impressions are not always correct.  Also, read Jaclyn's guest post here   ----->  Jaclyn's post
Love my Jaclyn!!

So these are my confessions.  How I have friends is beyond me!  Did you do anything weird like this in college?



Tuesday, May 20, 2014

SPEDS take A.C.

Happy Tuesday!

Last Tuesday was quite possibly one of the best days of all time.  Why?  Well, about 20 SPEDs took A.C.!  *SPEDs are the 5 year special ed majors*  We had a blast!

Corinne, Julie, and I left after work:

Nice sunburn Erin!
I was subbing that day and part of my job was monitoring a 2 hour recess
Some girls need sunscreen

We stayed at Caesar's

Yes, yes my friend he did.  (We were all dorks enough to quote this multiple times through the night)

Taken as soon as we got to the hotel!

Beth and Jaclyn arrived earlier that day and did what girls do best...shopped at The Pier.

We all met up for dinner at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville.  While we were walking to dinner (about 1/2 mile down the boardwalk) we all realized that it was getting reeeeeeaaaallly chilly so we linked arms and ran down the boardwalk.  We were all singing (thank you local beach shops for blaring JT, Jason Derulo, and John Legend), dancing, and joking around.  Feeling totally comfortable with our shenanigans, because we didn't think we knew anyone----Think being the operative word in that sentence---we did all kinds of fun dance moves.  Welp, about 5 minutes later we received this...

Yep, that's us skipping down the boardwalk....
Apparently, a few of our friends saw us from their hotel room and took our picture!  Isn't it a cute pic though?  It's so us!

So this happened at dinner...


Princess Crown of course!


Little Mermaid!

Parrot hat in Spanish flag colors

We're on a boat!

Miss Thang with her mohawk hat

Our side of the table

The sky was painted to look like the Caribbean 

Turkey burger and sweet potato fries

Lit up Caribbean sky

Then this happened:

Meh hat browke!

So sad.....

Apres Dinner

Mirror Shot!

Boardwalk all lit up on our way back to Caesar's!

After dinner we went back to the hotel and got ready for our little night out.  We got free admission to Dusk.  We danced for a few hours, then we walked around the casino for a bit (I lost $2.70...I did win 30 cents though!  Score!)

Say it with me, sunscreen
My favs!

You know what this elevator would be good for?  Taking selfies!

It was definitely what we needed!  Fun, goofiness, laughter, good food, and beach air!  All the fixings for a perfect night with the ladies!



Monday, May 19, 2014

My New Nugget!

Happy Monday!

It's a great Monday for a few reasons:

Andi's Baaaack!

The Bachelorette is back!  That means Monday Night Date Nights with friends and dinner and brownies!

Also, I'm looking at a great weekend!

  • Dinner with Ra in Princeton on Friday!
  • Phillies game on Saturday!
  • Graduation party on Sunday for a friend!
  • Next Monday I'm off from work because it's Memorial Day!
Monday means one day closer to that awesome weekend!

Also, I would like to introduce you to my newest nugget!

This is my new whip!

No I didn't buy a new car.  GM recalled Chevy Cobalts so I had to clean out Madden.  (tear tear, and found some weird stuff.  Also I found my TSwift Speak Now cd which was awesome!  Thought that bad boy was gone!  Phew!)  So GM gifted all of us Cobalt drivers with free rentals.  I may have this car until October...I will miss my baby Madden.

So for the past week, I've been cruising around town in a Spark.  It's super cute but it's teeny tiny.

One day I was getting out of the car (at the gym) and some guy goes, "Hey look, it's half a car!"

Beyonce shade throwing.  For once in my life I realized what it must be like to live in a world of short people jokes.  It's not a fun world to live in.

I knew that she needed a new name.  Since it looks like a cozy coupe but the inside looks like a rocket!  Plus the model's name is Spark, so she has to have a cool name.  So I came up with a few names:
  • Lolita
  • Bonita
  • Rene
The car seems spicy and fiery like a shrunken down version of Sofia Vergara.  Rene ended up winning because I wanted to highlight the space facet of the car.  Rene Carpenter was the name of my favorite Space Wife in the book The Astronaut Wives Club.  So my new car is named Rene Carpenter.  


Rene's motto y'all!

The wheels are so cute--they are maybe 1 foot in diameter.  

The car rides very low to the ground so you feel every bump.  Kinda like an amusement park ride--bonus!

Great gas mileage!  

Automatic locks!  I live in the world of no "clicker locks" and roll down windows so automatic windows and locks are a big pro!

Hatchback trunk is a BOSSLADY!  She stored 4 bags on our Girls' Nite in AC!

I feel like I'm cheating on Madden.  I miss her and told her she wasn't being replaced.



Sunday, May 18, 2014

Interviews and Demo Lesson

Hey Loves!

How is your Sunday?  Mine is pretty good!  Just chillaxing and catching up on my DVR.  We recently got DVR (welcome to 2005 Kitley family) and I've been loving it!

Today's post will be all about interview tips and demo lesson tips.  I've been on quite a few interviews thankfully and I'm going to glean some of my knowledge/tips/tricks to you my readers!  When I freely dispense interview and demo lesson tips, some people ask me why.  They wonder why I share these things with my "competition".  Well, I don't believe anyone is my competition.  I want everyone to get what they need.  If I lose a job to a classmate or friend, oh well, they were better than me and it's just.that.simple.

My motto for interviews!

This is my motto for interviews.  I want all my friends to get hired for their dream jobs!  

Ok, so here are my tips.

First Interview Clothes:
  • Do dress professionally, but don't be a bore.
  • YES YES 1000 TIMES YES, you can wear a dress!  I once had a classmate quip that, "Well, if it comes down to you verse me and I'm in a suit and you're in a dress, I'm going to get the job."  OK!  If someone dislikes you because you're wearing a dress, that person has bigger issues than your choice of attire.  Do you really want to work for someone who would do that?  I don't.  
  • I've worn a dress to every interview and always gotten a call back.  
  • Dress Code-I'm not saying you should wear a hoochie mama dress. NO!  Wear a dress that comes to your knees.  Being 5'8" this is something that I struggle with because a size 4 dress usually hits above my knee--but just an inch!  I also throw a cardi on top to keep my arms covered.  My dresses are always high, crew necked dresses.
Demo Lesson Clothes:
  • Pants!  I advise you to wear pants because you will be moving around and want to show the administrators that you are willing to get down on the ground with the kids.  
  • I wore (I'll post a pic soon) grey cigarette crops, black flats, and a green gingham button down with a ponytail to one demo lesson.  And my lucky necklace, Tiffany ball earrings, and an infinity ring also from T&Co.
  • I wore (I'll post a pic soon) the same grey cigarette crops, a black cami, a sleeveless white collared tank, and a lavender blazer.  I wore nude flats, and the same aforementioned jewelry.  My hair was again in a ponytail.  I wanted it out of my face.  I'm not the kinda girl who plays with her hair, but when nerves take over, you just never know!
Interview Tips:
  • Be yourself!  You want to show them what they will be getting.
  • Pretend that you are on Ellen.  I know this might sound stupid but seriously pretend you are on Ellen!  Ellen's guests are informative, passionate, and fun.  This is what you want to convey in a teaching interview.  You are a wealth of knowledge, uuber passionate, and super fun/enigmatic and engaging to children.  
  • Tell your brain to shush!  Chris Evans said this in an interview once, just tell your brain to shhhhhh.  Get out of your head, speak from your heart.
  • Be smart!  Research your district, coach yourself before the interview to prep your answers.  This gives you time to tease out your answer, remix it, and perfect it.
  • Be confident with what you know.  You spent 4-5 years studying this subject matter, you know your stuff!  Use it!
  • Go Back-think about what programs, reading curriculums, math curriculums, and technology you have used/know.  Do this a few days before your interview so you have time to write a culminating list.
  • Admit what you don't know with tact-If you're clueless about something, admit it.  Don't say I have no idea what that is, say, "I haven't used that in districts I have been in, but I'm sure I could learn to use _______".  Interviewers know that you are 22 or 23 and have just graduated.  They know you don't know all the programs, they don't know all the programs either.  They want to know that you are willing to learn about their programs.  That's all. 
  • Take a beat.  You're going to be nervous, after a question is posed take a few seconds to breathe and create a coherent answer.  I'm guilty of answering too quickly.  I remind myself to take a breather and then fire off a great answer.
  • If you don't know something about a specific program but have heard it mentioned say, "You know what, I have just started reading about it, but I'm not too familiar with that topic."  This way if they say, "Do you know _______" you can say, "I haven't read about that part yet."  This statement shows that you are familiar with the topic but not an expert. After this interview, you better find out as much about this topic as humanly possible.  I did this with guided math.  I'm still reading about this math approach.
Demo Lesson Tips:
  • Congrats on getting a demo!
  • Ask the administrator if you could have the email address of the teacher whose room you will be using.  Usually this is not a problem.
  • Ask Questions!  Ask the teacher whose room you will be using for info about the types of technology they have access to.  Ask how many students, ask what the students' interests are (so you can pick a topic they like), ask behavior management strategies, (usually they give you ages, levels, and other basic info--if they don't though, ASK!)  Also, ask if there is anything else you should know.
  • Use technology!  One classroom I had access to a Prometheon Board and Document Camera, so I created a PowerPoint and used the Doc Cam to project my article.  On another demo I didn't have access to a SMARTboard so I brought my own laptop and used Preview to highlight an article.  
Use anchor charts-I used an anchor chart for the demo I did on Close Reading.  It's great because it shows a visual for the kids, displays expectations, and keeps you from repeating yourself.  That being said, tell the students what the anchor chart is for.  This might so obvious but trust me it isn't.  Tell them, "This is an anchor chart for Close Reading.  You can find all of your Annotating Symbols here."  It's that easy.  The other demo lesson I went on featured an anchor chart about Summarizing.  I kept vital info up on the chart like Fiction/Non Fiction, Title, Goal, etc. on that chart.  In today's world, you have to be prepared to have an administrator ask any student what the learning objective is and that student has to answer.  This way, the student can glance up and tell them.  

 Sorry these are wrinkly, it was raining during both of my demo lessons.

Summarizing Anchor Chart.  Notice that the goal is on the chart, so is the title, the type of text, and word work.  
Anchor Chart for 8th graders.  Visuals for students
  • Make name tags!  You might think, I only have 30 minutes to do this demo (max 30 mins, usually 20!) I'm not going to waste a few minutes on a name tag.  This is not a waste!  It's important to show the kids that you are interested in them.  It makes the lesson look more professional if you have a handle on the students' names.  Bring index cards and markers and have them set out before your lesson.  Have the kids quickly write their name on the card.  This takes 1 minute and therefore can buy you one minute to prepare.  
  • Get there early!  20 minutes is preferable.  Ask if you can set up for your lesson.  Be prepared for them to say no.  Have everything prepared before hand.  This way you can just pass out your supplies.  If you can set up, set up like your job is on the line...because it is!
  • Make your lesson look official!  I make copies of my graphic organizers or hand outs on colored paper because it looks more official.  In my classroom I would use colored graphic organizers because it's easier to find.  Laminate things.  I laminated a Close Reading bookmark.
  • Interactive is a must!  Engage your students with cool attention grabber.  Summaries can be boring, but a summary cube...not boring!  
    Summary Cube!  
    I found this cube template on (a life saver btw) and wrote the components of a good summary on each of the sides.  Also, I wrote each component in the same color that I wrote its corresponding name on the Summary Anchor Chart.  This is a great visual. I also brought those markers to write the corresponding information on the chart.  I found this cube to be the best!  It worked really well!  The kids loved it and it kept them engaged.
  • Bring a copy of everything your giving to the kids for the people reviewing your lesson.  This makes you look professional.
  • Make extra copies!  Of.EVERYTHING!
  • Lesson plan-it's better to overwrite than underwrite.  Make sure you explain little teaching tricks (like the matching marker trick/contrasting tricks (only use dark color ink on light colored paper) etc.) because that shows that you know tricks
  • Ask Questions!  If you're doing a demo for a 4th grade class, ask a 4th grade teacher.  My best demo lesson (summarizing 4th grade) was crafted through talking to a friend of mine who is a 4th grade resource room teacher, TeachersPayTeachers, my own knowledge, and researching classrooms.
  • Use Self-Talk until you want to die from hearing your voice.  It's important to narrate what you're doing.  These kids don't know you, don't know your learning style, and might have never heard of this skill before.  
  • Praise them constantly!  
  • Gradual release!  Use your time wisely!  You have 25 minutes to give the lesson of your life.  
    • First 5 minutes-find out what they know, use the phrase activate your schema!  It shows you what the kids know and where the holes are.  Intro the skill.  Make name tags!
    • 5-15 minutes-Teacher model, read the text, demonstrate the skill
    • 15-20 minutes-Students work together on honing the skill
    • 20-23 minutes-Students work independenlty on the skill
    • 23-25 minutes-wrap up/closure.
  • How I did this with summarizing:
  • First 5 Minutes
    • pass out summary charts but keep face down.  
    • pass out pencils
    • I had 5 kids in my lesson so I just memeorized their names.
    • Asked the students to self assess their knowledge of summarizing.  
    • Text walk of the non-fiction text.  Goal was for the students to discover the text was non-fiction and let me know how they knew this/what non-fiction text features led them to this decision-record on anchor chart
    • Asked the students to make quick connections to the text topic.
    • Talk about difference between summary and retelling.  Summary is a postcard from your trip, retelling is a scrapbook of your trip.  
    • define summarizing
    • word work-find the words you think will be tricky before hand and know a kid friendly definition. 
  • Next 10 minutes
    • choral reading/whisper reading 
    • use glossary to define terms-write on anchor chart
    • model (using summary cube) how to fill in summary chart on anchor chart 
    • Have students use summary cube and write down their answers on the chart (highlight on Preview.  I pulled the article up on Preview and then was able to highlight it as they answered--using the matching marker color obviously!) 
  • Next 5 minutes
    • Have the students use the cube to write out their own answers on their charts
  • Final 5 minutes
    • Had students make their own summaries and shared with the group.  I said, "Now for a closure activity, we are going to use our graphic organizers to create a summary!
    • Have students rate their comfort level with the new skill
One student told me he loved me and wanted me to come back tomorrow.  No, he's not currently on the Erin Payroll...  

Packing Your Bag

Packing a bag for your demo looks good.  It is not your purse!  Do not put the junk in your purse!  That doesn't look good.  It looks unorganized.  I use this bag:

A Vera Bradley (I think weekender)
Yes, it's one cares if you have a pink bag.
It holds everything!  My MacBook, my Teacher Binder, my supply binder, my supplies, etc.  

Supply Binder from Target's A Shore Thing line...again it's pastel in color.
A supervisor even told me that she loved the bright colors!  

Inside I have index cards (name tags), lined paper, copies of lesson plans, hand outs, and usually markers.
 Every supply you need should be in here!

An emergency supply bag:

More Vera!  These are all the extra supplies that you don't need for your lesson, but if there is a problem (marker runs out/scissors break) you have extra!
It has 20+ Sharpies in various colors, staples, stapler, scissors, pens, pencils, highlighters, tape, etc.


Graphic organizer for Summarizing (Who, What, Where, When, Why, How)

Close Reading Bookmark (laminated and on colored paper)

Steps of Close Reading on the reverse side of the laminated bookmark
The most important rule?

MAKE THE KIDS LIKE YOU!  Go out of your way to make them like you.  Be fun, be positive, be goofy, be smart!  One kid told me that 

So I hope you enjoy your demo!  



Saturday, May 10, 2014

I'm Scared of The Dark

Happy Saturday!

I've been MIA for very good reasons (finals/TWS/interviews/demo lessons) but now I'm back!  (from outer space, I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face...sorry when the opportunity presents itself to quote Gloria Gaynor, you gotta take it!)

Today I will tell you all about one of the scariest nights of my whole entire 23 years of life.  If after this post you deem my life totally bland if this is truly one of the scariest night of your life, so be it.  You should know I have 2 great life fears:  cats and the dark.  Terrified of both.  No reason as to why, I just am terrified.

So my parents went to Virginia to pick up Dylan (because I loathe long car rides I selflessly volunteered to stay home and dogsit Cody) on Thursday night.  I had a demo lesson that day anyway (I'll recap them later) and so I stayed home alone.

Most 23 year old's reaction to their parents leaving them alone for 24 hours:


This is Erin's reaction to being left home alone at 23:

singing into the camera (or iPhone)

Yup, fam's gone aka time to start my concert!

Well, not yet...because when I walk in I see that the microwave and oven clock's are both off.  My immediate thought:


A MURDERER IS IN MY HOUSE!  Come on this has slasher movie written all over it!

Then, logic and reality hit me and I think, well, maybe it's not a murderer.  Maybe we had a small power outage?  Yeah, that's what happened.  

Just incase, I decide I need to get something to protect myself incase a murderer does decide to break in and kill me.  I think back to the 2 years I lived on the outskirts of Trenton and grabbed a knife to stash on my bed stand.  (Trenton is one of the most dangerous cities in the U.S. people) Oh, yes, go ahead judge, but you do it, too!  It's totally normal...?...right?


So, armed and fabulous, trying to erase murderers from my mind I curl up in my ugly jammies, ate some left over take out, and cleared the DVR of all the old Real Housewives of OC.  You know the good stuff my parents detest and therefore I have to watch when no one is home.  

In my dreams this is what I look like this watching TV alone

In reality it's much more like this:


So what does my over active brain do next?  Think about murderers, Law & Order SVU, Criminal Minds, you know...the usual fun things!  After thinking that I might die, I just watched an episode of Eric & Jessie and finally decided death was not imminent.  So I sent my little self to bed and guess what?  I'm just brushing my teeth and then TSZKTSZK the lights go out!  Well, it's 11:30 and the club is jumping jumping and I was like Oh NO!  

Standing in front of the mirror, in the dark, with the just the deafening sound of the electric toothbrush scaring me almost to death I think yup, this is how I'm going to die.  People will probably think that I lost an epic Bloody Mary stand off.  


Through my fear stricken fog, I wade my way to my phone (and knife) so I can have some sort of light.  My phone is almost out of battery but I call my Deb all scared.  She tells me to calm down (too late for that nonsense) and said my dad will call PSE&G.  She tells me where the lantern is so I won't be all alone in the dark.  So off I go to get the lantern and decide my best bet (in case it is a murderer) start walking with the knife ahead of me like a bayonet.  Straight up Revolutionary War soldier status!  I'm thinking, OHMYGOD!  THE MURDERER BROKE IN, CHANGED THE CLOCKS DANE COOK B&E STYLE AND NOW HE'S CUT THE ELECTRICITY AND I'M GOING TO DIE.  

PSE&G says the lights will be back on by 7 am.  That is 7.5 hours too far away!  So I'm sitting here talking to Deb, telling her how I'm sure I'm a goner.  Cody, the ferocious beast who barks viciously at blowing leaves, is petrified and hiding under me!  ME?!  Great, now I have to defend the warrior who is supposed to be the saver!  He's going to be no help if there really is a murderer in here.  Also, Deb's constant "calming words" of you're going to be fine, you're not going to be murdered, Erin just go to bed--it's the same as being asleep.  (FYI No It Is Most Certainly Not)

My reaction?

Yeah Deb because a kitty is the exact same thing as a panther!  And a goldfish is the same as a shark.  The difference lies in the physics of it all.  If I'm sleeping and there is electricity, I can open my eyes and see the light.  If I'm sleeping and I open my eyes and there is NO electricity, I can open my eyes and see terror and ghosts and murderers and really absolutely nothing because it's pitch black!!  How is that the same?  Answer:  IT'S VURRRRY VURRRRY DIFFERENT!  As different as Grace Kelly and Kim Kardashian.  Yes their last names both start with K's but that's where the similarities end, y'all!

The lights zzzz back on after 15 long minutes.  15 minutes too long!  It was terrifying.  Imagine your worst fear coming to fruition when you are all alone.  SCARY!

Friday Dylan came home and life restored it's normal balance in the Kitley family home.  Inappropriate jokes, lotsa laughs, and gooberish pranks can resume.  

Life is good...with the lights on that is!

Do you have irrational fears of the dark?  Is it just me?  Are you supposed to grow out of this by the time you're 7?