Everyone has a connection to a specific historical event. For some it is the memory of where they were when JFK was assassinated, for some it was the day when the Berlin Wall fell, for me? It's the day that Rachel proclaimed the most romantic phrase of all time, "I got off the plane" and all was right in the world. I was right here, on my couch, eyes glued to the nonHD, non flat screen t.v., using up all 50 of my allotted texts a month. Here's to Ross, Rachel, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Pheebs, may your planes always have extra left phalanges!
For me Friends was deeper than a show. It was the reason I loved Thursdays more than any other day. It was the actual reason why I did not take lyrical on Thursday nights at 8:00 until September 2004. Yes I was such a fan that I wouldn't even take dance class for fear of missing out! Remember folks, TiVo was VERY expensive in 2004!
Friends was the show I watched with my Mom-Mom since I was in 2nd grade. What? Adult plot lines and sexual innuendos are too mature for an 8 year old? Pfft! I also learned the super-necessary-to-an-8-year-old-skill of how to avoid your mom by being really really quiet and hiding out in your Mom-Mom's room. Genius!
Friends also helped me make a few real life friends. I met some of my best friends by exchanging wayward Friends quotes such as PIOVT!, and Regina Phalanges, and I'm not good at emotional things, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? These are how you know you have met good people--when they can echo Friends' quotes back at you.
Friends was the show I would watch when I was sad, happy, indifferent, on the treadmill/elliptical/bike. It made life better. Friends is the show I would flip on whenever I had to write a long paper (it takes 8 episodes to produce an A paper if you were wondering.), gotten dumped (no break up will ever be as epic as the one where Ross and Rachel go on a break), or was originally rejected from TCNJ (Monica and Chandler were rejected from an adoption agency...that's a real problem Erin!)! Also Friends Season 8, was the soundtrack to the 3 hour trip to my Grammy's! Dylan and I can quote that season forwards and backwards. I also now watch it on long car rides to JMU and vacation.
Friends has also solved all of my problems in real life. It has taught me all of the life lessons I will ever need to know.
Finances:
Taught me about FICA-"Who the hell is FICA and why is he getting all my money?"-Rachel Greene (the actual spelling has an e on the end as told by Ross' wedding invite to Emily.)
Pizza is something you can order even if you are a broke actor such as Joey. You can always afford pizza.
Marry someone like Chandler Bing, he has a stash of money that is enough for Wedding Scenario A!
Career:
A baby stylist is not a lucrative career path
Sometimes you have to work at Fortunata Fashions before you can make it big at Ralph Lauren
Being a masseuse will afford you a very luxurious lifestyle, what Pheebs can do all kindsa cool stuff on a masseuse's salary
Never schedule an interview with a prospective new boss at your current boss's favorite restuarant
Family:
If you sleep with Joey's sister, for God's sake, remember which one!
If your 19 year old brother and his ex-Home Ec. teacher/wife can't have a baby, it is your sisterly duty to carry their triplets! Also, attempting to kidnap one of said babies is endearing not illegal
The Gellar Cup will always be a cause for contention...does everyone else see a troll doll nailed to a 2X4?
Ross and Monica have a really close sibling relationship...does anyone remember when they used to sit on each other's laps? A LOT?!
If you have dueling parents, have two parties!
If you don't have a solid family tree, tell your kids that the happy little family in the Kohl's picture frames IS your actual family!
Social Decency:
Don't assume someone knows that they are adopted. Even if they are deceptively tall for an 8 year old.
Fold your napkins like swans, you're not at a barn dance.
Ice cream being cold is not a good reason for disliking it.
If you want a dying woman's apartment, there is a social etiquette to follow, but it's okay to disregard it as long as you speak one Dutch phrase
It's 100% acceptable to stalk your naked neighbor and poke him with a giant poking device made of chop stix!
Stealing food is fine as long as it comes from George Stephanopoulos or Mama's Little Bakery, Chicago Illinois
Love:
Ross and Rachel. All I have to say.
Lobsters!
Your Ross may marry other women, cheat on you with Chloe the Copy Girl, and do a whole bunch of crazy things, BUT you should still love him! Why? Because he's your lobster!
Also, never blame Pheebs for taking the check back from the charity, you know she deserved that wedding to Mike!
Any guy that will pee on you to help ease the pain of a jellyfish is a man you should marry!
It's better to have a marriage than a wedding
Moving/Furniture:
PIVOT!
If you are looking to get an apartment you should send a muffin basket to Ugly Naked Guy, if that doesn't work trying sitting with Ugly Naked Guy in you're birthday suit, also if you don't want your friend to move out tell the landlord he's a tap dancing pimp! (yes, some might say it is a lost art)
Building a fort out of boxes is a great way to spend your time
If you want your friends to kick you out change the answering machine's outgoing message to "We will call you back!" and use the volume hands.
Friends:
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too
You will fight, put them in a box, have them get dumped, make up!
So, curl up, watch the last episode, cry your eyes out, and love life!
Love,
E
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