Friday, June 20, 2014

What It's Like to Get Rejected From a Job

Happy Friday!


Does anyone else still sing this lyrical gem whenever it's Friday?  No?  Just me?  Okaymovingonthen.

First, let me send a huge shout out/hug out to my family, friends, and everyone who sent/is currently sending me love on my job hunt!  I love y'all!  You are so sweet with your FB comments, texts, calls, etc!

Let me preface this with, I was kind of led on.  This leading on led me to turn down a different position.   A position that I would have been good at.  A position that I would have enjoyed.  However, my dream positoin was dangled in front of me and like a Lilly Pulitzer dress on clearance.  And like any preppy girlie girl, I jumped for it.  Needless to say, I didn't get the dream position.  However, recent events have proven that this was a serindipitous occasion.  I'm now interviewing at some really great districts and feeling more confident in my choice.

NOT as confident as Wills there, but what are you gonna do?  No one can rock a hula skirt and Grandpa at a wedding dancing quite like GB's heir

So as you know I was rejected from a job I desperately wanted.  It was really rough and it left me reeling for a few days.  As per usual, when I'm sad I went on a really hard run.  (And ate Panera :)  Thanks Deb)  

Getting rejected from anything is really hard.  Getting rejected from your dream job is extra hard.  It's what you've worked for for 5 years.  It makes you second guess yourself, your talent, and all the time you spent working on bettering yourself.  I felt completely worthless.  Completely defeated and dejected. Sure I've been rejected by other things/people before, but this time was different.  In middle school I was rejected from the basketball team.  That was just a portion of my identity--basketball was not my whole identity.  My job is.  Being a teacher is all encompassing.  That's who you are.  I've always been a career minded lady--that's my thing.  I'm a teacher.  Being rejected from a job is kind of like someone denying you your identity.  It shakes you and shatters you to your core.  I think it also hurts because you worked hard for this.  I gave up a lot of things to make sure I did well in college.  I worked my booty off and now I want to see that hard work turn into a job. 

I was devastated when I got the news.  It hit me like a ton of bricks and it hurt.  I cried (ugly Kim Kardashian style crying) for days week and a half.  I felt like the biggest loser who ever walked the planet.  And not the cool Biggest Loser who has Jillian Michaels screaming at them to "work harder!"


  No, like a worthless human being.  I didn't even feel like myself.  I listened to the "Sad Day Playlist" on my iTunes.  Don't judge, you know you have one, too :)  But after a day I started to feel better.  I started listening to my "So Much Better" playlist.  (Yes, So Much Better from Legally Blonde the musical is the opening song :))  I started feeling like my normal self again.  It's been about 2 weeks and I'm feeling better now.  Everything happens for a reason :)  Not my district, not my kids.


With every rejection I would just flash back to the decision I made.  I rejected a job.  Who does that?  It was a guaranteed position and it was something that I would have been good doing.  I would have been happy there.  I would have done well there.  When I turned that job down I felt like I was letting everyone down.  I felt like I let the district down.  I felt like I let the people I interviewed with down and I felt like I left my future/would be students down.  It was risky to turn this position down.  NJ is not in the best place education wise and educators are losing their jobs right and left.  I know this and considered these factors in my decision.  I went with my gut and decided that I wanted to see what else was out there.  I didn't think this district was my home.  I went with my gut and it was/is risky.  For the first time since I was 12, I am unemployed.  I am still tutoring and babysitting but no definite 9-5 job.  It's a weird feeling.  However, just between us...I'm loving sleeping til 10 and then laying by the pool for hours :)
And duh, of course my pool lounging looks just like Jen's pool lounging ;) in my dreams

But, being rejected taught me a thing or two.  You can't give up.  You have to brush off the dirt on your heels and dry clean that I'm-gonna-kill-it-interview-dress and keep going.  I read something (on Pinterest lol) that said, self doubt is literally betting against yourself and (like all things on Pinterest) I really thought about that.  Then, I remembered what my good friend Elle Woods said at Harvard's Commencement...

I have faith in myself.  I'm confident with and in my abilities and I'm gonna keep on trucking.  Keep moving forward and I'll use all the rejections to better myself.  One of my friends wrote on my FB wall that the rejections make you a better and more grateful teacher and I think she's right.  When I do earn my job, I will be so grateful and excited.  

Sometimes it's hard to be so open about failure, especially job failure.  If you're like me, your self worth is tied to your job.  Losing out on something like a job makes you feel completely lost.  But, it's that bonding with other people over a joint loss (job, friends, family member, SO) that keeps us human, humble, and helps us heal.  That was a lotta H words.

While I was crushed by that rejection, I believe whole heartedly that everything happens for a reason and that God has a plan for all of us.  So I'm going to let serindipity be my guide and keep applying for jobs and improving myself.

I'll keep you all updated!  To my fellow job hunting SPEDS--good luck and kick butt on those interviews :)



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