Monday, May 6, 2013

Graduation Shmaduation

     In one week, 2 days, 21 hours I will be a college graduate!!  This is a terrifying statement to make.  I will be graduating with my bachelor's degree in History from The College of New Jersey!!  

      I'm excited to graduate but I don't think it has hit me yet.  I preface this with, I don't mean to be a snob but, this isn't that exciting.  I feel like my parents paid for me to go to school therefore I should graduate.  Not graduating from college was never an option for Type-A me.  Another reason I don't feel like this is a huge accomplishment is because 4.5 years ago I was wait listed  at TCNJ.  I was actually found out I was wait listed on my 18th birthday.  So that felt AWESOME...obviously!  (On the last possible day to be accepted I was ACCEPTED to my dream school!)  So in those four excruciating months I did a lot of soul searching.  I tried to talk my Type-A self into going to my second choice school (LaSalle), trying to repeat the mantra:  Everything Happens For A Reason, Erin, Everything Happens For A Reason, Erin, this is just a Serindipity moment, and trying to not cry all day everyday.  So in those four months I realized that if/when (try to be optimistic) I did get in I would appreciate the hell out of TCNJ.  I would do well, I would get good grades, I would always pick to study over going out/having fun, and I would graduate!  So that's what I did.  I did it for myself and for all the students who didn't get to go to TCNJ.  

     Another reason that this graduation is not a really big deal is because I still have my 5th Year here.  I'm graduating but not leaving until next May.  I also get a whopping 5 day break until I have to come back for a 6 week research intensive class.  Next May, I will be pumped up beyond belief to graduate! 

      I think my ambivalent feelings are normal...ish...maybe?  Maybe it's just a side-effect of being Type-A, you're never happy until you're at your destination i.e. Queen of the World, Secretary of Education, or First Lady...whichever comes first.



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