The Greatest Moment In Sub History

Hey Hey Hey!     Happy end of the week!  We made it!  Do you have little dorky career dreams?  Like not, I wanna be a superintendent or I want to be a rocking teacher?  No I'm talking about the little everyday career dreams.  Like I want to use a red pen to grade a test.  I want to use stickers that say outdated phrases like TEEEERIFFIC on said tests.  Those kindsa dreams?  Well, yesterday, one of mine came true.  It was glorious!  
     Yesterday I had another adventure in subbing.  I got to experience the teacher wannabe equivalent of THE BEST DAY EVER!  This moment can only be compared to a pilot's first successful solo flight or a cardiologists first successful heart transplant.  It's wearing the teacher microphone necklace.  This little device came out about 10 years ago and since my beloved 3rd grade teacher wore one I have been dreaming of the day when, I too, would get to wear the microphone necklace and hear the cadence of my voice spewing words of wisdom like, "Remember, when we have 10 ones, we can trade that for a long!" and saying things like, "I'll just wait for you to be ready," in all of my HD surround sound glory!    NEedless to say, I began wondering what is the actual dream of wearing the microphone necklace?  DUH!  It's belting out...AAAAHHHHNNNNNDDDDD IIIIIIIYYYYYIIIIIII WILLL ALWAYS LOOOOOHOOOOOOAAAAAVEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!  Whitney from Bodyguard style.  

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Hands starting low by my side, then rising as the words fall unskillfully and out of pitch from my mouth, until they reach their apex over my head and let me pull them down in a fist position.  You know exactly what I'm talking about because you too have probably had this vision yourself whenever anyone handed you a microphone.  If you don't immediately want to do that, I don't really know what your problem is.  Why do you hate fun?  In case you don't know what this microphone necklace looks like, here is a pic.  

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This will be forever one of the top 100 life moments for me.  I'm sure when I'm actually teaching the sound of my own voice amplified will eventually drive me to an early retirement, but for the time being I am basking in the afterglow of teacher mic wearing.  

Anyway, I hope you get to experience this little career lift every now and again because it feels amazing!

Happy Friday!

Erin

How The Bachelorette Would Be Different If I Were On It

Happy Tuesday, welcome to the arctic!

Seriously it was 8 degrees in my car today.  Not ok.  Anyway, think warm thoughts and wear yoga pants.  Coincidentally in life, that pretty much fixes 90% of all problems.

Now for the meat of the post:  HOW PUMPED WERE YOU ALL FOR THE WINTER PREMIERE OF THE BACHELOR?!

If you are not this level of excited then we are not friends
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I lerve The Bachelor and have for oh, 19 seasons?  When I was little I would be really quiet and hide out in my Mom-Mom's room and pretend that no one knew I was there, just so I could watch this glittering show of awesome.  I'd also keep my fingers crossed that Dylan would act up and his bath time would take longer and I'd get away with it.  It worked...until about 9:15 then I'd be summoned for bed.  The next day my Mom-Mom and I would recap and make predictions and pick our favorites.  This continued until she died.  Now I have Bachelor viewing parties and we make pools, brackets, and pick our faves!  I'm always partial to blondes and blonde teachers!  I picked Elise, Nikki, and Danielle as my current favorites this season!

I know that this show is not "a factual depiction of real life Erin!" as my mama tells me every Monday. However, I'm not immune to the fantasy of what would life be like if I were to wear the sequined dress of glory and hand out those prestigious red scepters of love aka the roses to swoon worthy hunks?  Well, my friends?  Life would be a lot different in The Bachelor Mansion let me tell you!  It would obviously be the most dramatic rose ceremony.  EH.VUR.  

So first of all, The Bachelor has this new tradition (I'm not thrilled about it) where they pick a previously rejected cast member to fill The Bachelorette's stilettos.  I would really like some variety but what are you going to do.  Anyway, I would get dumped (not surprising) by The Bachelor.  I would most likely make friends with all the girls and miss them more than him.  I would go talk to Ellen about how perky and happy I am now and how moved on I am and show off my inevitable new hair cut.  (It would be the same hair cut just blonder...not gonna make the bang's mistake from '06...again...) and Ellen would say, "Well, I hope you get to be the next Bachelorette because we all love you."  (I've always been more of a girl's girl so this is totally plausible.)  I would smile and say, "Wouldn't that be fun?"  

Flash forward one day.  ABC would call me and ask if I wanted the job.  I would accept and then appear on After The Final Rose and tell everyone that I was going to be The Bachelorette.  I would be wearing pink and glitter and sequins and have 5 inch heels on and have a be rocking a fab blow out.  I would say things like, "I'm just so excited" and "I hope I find a great guy!" and "It's overwhelming, but yea I'm excited!  Who wouldn't want to be in this position?"  Chris Harrison (my new BFF) would laugh, smile, and look into Camera 2 and say, "Well, Erin's season will premiere on May 23rd!"

I would smile and wave and then start talking to the girls that I really did miss more than life!  I would wish my ex and his new lovah a great life and "all the best!  Really!  I'm so happy for you!"  I would then be forced to smile through their sage love advice and I would do this:

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I also would NOT be surprised when they split up in 2 weeks

I would then begin my sojourn to find true love and well, here's how it goes:

• I would only be able to shoot in the summer because I love my job as a teacher and would never quit.
• This would be the required uniform for all contestants



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• I would show up in the sparky dress with the hair and makeup because they deserve to see me at my best.  I would then put on yoga pants, a Phils jersey, and a baseball hat as soon as the cockail party commenced.  Because I can.  I would also be wearing Uggs because they're comfy.
• I would also listen to the guys when they said one of the other guys was a jerk.  
• I would seriously redo the dates.
• I would say yes to all helicopter dates.  Helicopters are badass and I want to ride in one.
• I would say yes to all charity dates. 
• I would say no to any and all snow dates.  Too cold and I get cranky!
• I would also say no to all coffee dates.  I hate coffee and I hate pretending I like it for dates.  
• I would say no to all dodgeball dates.  I hated gym in 3rd grade, why would I like it now?  Plus, the Bachelor/ette never even gets to play.  That's no fun!
• These are dates I would add.  
• Dollywood Date-I would make people take me to an amusement park--full of people!  No private park for us because that's not real life!  You learn a LOT about someone at amusement parks.  You can learn about patience (or lack there of), their feelings on children (unless there is so much screaming.  Rolling your eyes and saying no thank you is an appropriate response to sugared up screaming), eating habits (if you don't consider funnel cake a meal, we can't be loves), and fear level.  If he says no to Nitro, you say no to him.  Also, if you don't love Dolly, I don't love you.
• $30 Date Nite!  This is how real life dating is.  You have $30.  It's like a challenge.  You can get your movie tickets for $23.  You know have $7 remaining.  What do you do?  Do you get your date something and then salivate for your own drink?  Do you get one drink and two cups?  No shame here, I've done that!  This wouldn't be a problem because I would bring my own snacks.  I would bring some to share with him...no I wouldn't who are we kidding??  ERIN DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!  
• Phillies Game Date!  We would go to the Phils game and we would see how he handled me in all my screaming glory.
• Yoga Pants Date-I would just wear sweats and a messy bun and we would run errands.  We would then eat Chinese food on the couch and watch a movie.  This is pretty much what I love to do everyday so this would be their reality.
• Wing Eating Contest-I can shovel those boneless pieces of heaven into my mouth faster than you can say "Will you accept this rose?" and if you can't keep up?  Then I'm sorry, NO ROSE!  
• Dessert Date-If you can't handle me with my face fully covered in chocolate you don't deserve me!  It's not pretty but it's a reality.  A very real reality that you will endure 



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• Night at the Ballet Date-I love the ballet and I'll know you love me too if you agree (and stay awake during the performance) to the date!
• Burrito Date-Burritos are the best food ever!  If you don't love them, we can't be.
• Barnes & Noble Date-This would mostly be a please-leave-me-alone-I'm-reading date.  You can feel free to read your own book...silently.   
• How I would handle the Fantasy Suite-I would be Cinderella.  I would say you can stay til midnight and then you have to go back.  Gotta keep it classy.
• I would maybe accept the proposal.  I would most likely say this before the most dramatic final rose ceremony.  EH. VUR.  that I want to date them in the real world first.  
• Most first night roses would be given to the funniest guys.  And anyone who looks like Chris Evans or Luke Bryan!
• If they said they didn't like books or country music they would be asked to leave.  Immediately.  I would even leave them on a glacier like Ali left Kasey.  That was cold and heartless, but it would be necessary in this situation.
• My friends would come on some dates...as our waitresses!  How you treat a waitress says a lot about you.  They will judge you and ask someone to leave.  I trust them 100% so I would trust their judgement.
• No island proposals.  This isn't cute!  My hair is prone to frizz, it's cliche, I'm Irish and I sunburn easily, and I don't want to be a Sweaty Betty.  I also have no desire to ride an elephant in a ball gown.
• I'd also tell the guy I didn't want to be with that I wasn't picking him, face to face, before the Final Rose Ceremony.  This is the nice thing to do.  

Chances are I will never go on this show (because I have self-respect/a job/am not certifiably insane/am emotionally slutty) because I can't pack everything I would need in one suitcase.  But if I did it would be flawless!  I would be the biggest dork who ever was on that show and I would own it, love it, and enjoy it!  May your Mondays be merry and enjoy Juan Pablo ladies!  

xoxo,

Erin

It All Started With a Juice Stand...

Happy Monday!!   (oxymoron much?)

Well Bloggies we have a special treat on the blog front today!  I have a guest blogger for you!  She is one of my best friends, a fellow SPED, and all around fabulous lady!  It's Queen of Yummy Drinks Jaclyn!  (She also has reached all the levels of precious!  A feat in and of itself)

I'm trying to force her to get her own blog (and as soon as she does I'll do a link up so you all can read it because I'm sure it will be just as precious and fabulous as she is!) about juices, sassy waters, and smoothies!  Ever since we became friends some 5 years ago I have always asked her about her intriguing drinks and drink concoctions.  This girl was drinking coconut water before anyone knew what it was.  I'm pretty sure 90% of the things I say to her are, "What are you drinking?"  "Where did you get that?"  "What's in that juice?"  "Can I smell that juice?"  "OMG I need to get that!"

How did we meet?  Well, that's a serindipity story if there ever was one.  We met during Welcome Week at TCNJ in 2009 and welp, it wasn't exactly best friends at first sight.  No, no, it was enemies at first glare.  I am super duper competitive (I know, shocking right?  The girl who hides all of her Black Friday goodies is competitive?  Say whaaat?!) and our floor (T7 what what!) was competing in a cake baking contest. One of my friends and floormates is actually a cake decorator and I knew we were going to win.  I was sitting with my fellow floormates literally creating a human shield so no one would copy our design (we took everything too seriously...maybe this is the reason our floor was regarded as the most competitive floor...) and I look up and see Jaclyn eyeing our cake.  Well I threw some serious shade and we were enemies from then on.  (Jaclyn really was just admiring our beauteous cake)  Well, fast forward a few months to second semester frosh year and guess who is in my class?  Jaclyn.  Well I avoided her like the plague and she did the same to me.  Well one day we had to switch seats and I had to sit next to my new enemy, Jaclyn.  Well, soon enough we dropped our shade throwing ways (Jaclyn is an excellent shade thrower if you were wondering.  Puts me to shade shame!) and became besties.  We bonded over being precious (obviously lol) and The Office.  It turned out that we had two classes together and we both dubbed our math class as the college equivalent of The Office.  We quickly realized and concurred that our prof looked like Creed but acted like Michael.  A famed Dr. Michael Scott quote:  "Sometimes I look at the test scores in this class and go wow I have smart students.  Then I realize that I taught you and that makes me responsible for your intelligence."  Also, this Creed/Michael hybrid didn't show up to class one day.  So we waited the obligatory 20 minutes and then left.  We passed him in his office and all ran.  The Dwight in our class stopped to tell him we all left and he goes, "I just got so swept up in the math problem I just lost track of time!"  Presh!  We also realized we had a Phyllis, a Stanley, a Toby (literally this poor kid would get one step into explaining a problem and Professor Michael Scott wouldn't let him finish.  He would say, "______ sit down!  No that's not even right!"  P.S. his work wasn't ever wrong lol.  We had a Meredith who would tell us all about her drinking and partying.  We even had a Jim and Pam.  (They didn't last longer than the semester though...)  You already know we had a Dwight!  Anyway, we became fast friends and I can't imagine my life without her!  So much serindipity!  On top of that we have both been practicum partners for the past 4 years.  You know how some friends can't work together?  Yeah, we don't have that problem.  We work best together!


Anyway, one thing we bond over is juicing!  We juice all the time!  Jaclyn is the Queen of Juice though!  Below are some of her delish recipes and pictures of her creations!

I hope you enjoy!

This is my favorite one! It's a juice made of freshly juiced oranges and pineapples, seltzer water, frozen grapes at the bottom to keep it cold, a couple ice cubes, mint leaves on the top, and a strawberry and a pineapple slice on the side. It's light, healthy, refreshing, and perfect for the summer. I call it the Summer Sparkler! 

This is my favorite pink fruit smoothie. This one happens to be all vegan. Made of ice, filtered water, pomegranate seeds, oranges, kiwi, bananas, sunflower seeds, and a little bit of honey. I don't know if you need to know this information, but to make the kiwi slices stick to the side, I washed out the mason jar with water, didn't dry it, and put it in the freezer. After a few minutes, I took it out and put the kiwi on the inside of the jar (they stuck because they were room temperature; also I sliced them very thin). Then I put the jar back in the freezer for a few minutes. Finally, I poured the smoothie in.

This is an infused water with a tropical twist. Water with cucumber slices, lemon slices, and mint. Can let it sit in the refrigerated for a few hours or over night.  Know as sassy water. Then I took it a step further and added a splash of freshly juiced pineapple. Serve in a tall glass over ice, with a cucumber slice, a lemon slice, and some mint leaves on top. Very good for staying hydrated and detoxing from any processed foods.

Isn't she a great photographer, too?!  Her pictures are all of her drinks and taken at her lake house!  Here are a few of my fave Jaclyn and Erin pix!  Also she makes a mean Malibu Bay Breeze with Cranberry/Pineapple ice cubes so you don't dilute the flavor!  Amazing!

Typical!

Pre 22nd Birthday Drinks!

Jac's 22nd!  This is Typical Life:  Jaclyn looks lovely and I'm an Awkward Turtle

KDP Chords Ceremony!

Graduation Girls!

We Heart Denim! 

Bathroom Selfies!

Also, today I was supposed to go to AC with the padre and broski for a little meeting Dylan had.  Well, the agenda also included lunch at a tacky little AC restaurant and obviously, outlet shopping!  Well, that didn't happen because of a leetle car trouble.  But have no fear!  I still got to shop :)  The Lillypulitzer.com New Year Cheer Sale was on!  I told myself, Erin you have $40.  I wasn't optimistic because I was afraid that the internet would crash like it did this summer when I tried to score some cute stuff...but miraculously the Lilly gods were on my side and I got this dress for $39!  Under budget and everything!

Lockwood dress in Get Nauti!

So cute right?!  I think it will be perfect for my New England vacay this year!  I'll probably wear it on the cruise next summer, too.  (And intermittently throughout my life <3)Yes I'm a dork and themey but you all knew that!  (I wore an outfit today to AC that had Dylan muse, "Fern, you look like one of those rich Housewives on those shows you watch!"  Mission Accomplished!  When you go to AC, the theme is always glitter or mobster's girlfriend, amIright?)  I digress.  I thought this dress was also fitting because as we all know Lilly started as a juice stand!  Kinda ties in Jaclyn's juice recipes!  Also, it is about 1 degree here in NJ and I wanted a little summer in my life!

P.S.  If you haven't gone to the Lilly sale:  go.  shop.  prosper!

A huge shout out, thank you, and hug to my precious juicer friend Jaclyn and her yummy recipes!  I can't wait to try them!  If you have any juice recipes please share in the comments section!  

Love love love,

Erin

Serindipity of Mean

How YOU doin'?

Ok, this one is going to be a weird post.  Lotsa land o' rando stuff in here.

Have you ever experienced a mean person?  Of course you have!  Like I'm talking a really mean person?  Someone who has hurt you and knew what they were doing?  Like someone who hurt you on purpose?  They could have prevented it, but they knowingly chose not to?  THAT my friends is what today's post is about.

I try (operative word being try) to find the serindipity in most situations.  That little serindipitous silver lining of sorts, and I think I found it in meanness.  The hard part about serindipity is that we often don't find it until much time has lapsed.  Oh Joy, right?!  I've had mean people in my life and I've always cut them out of my life and learned that my life is so much better without them.  I've had friends that turned on me, boys that cheated on me, boys that told me I wasn't a priority to them, teachers who said I just didn't get it and refused to help me get it, and jeans that ripped in inconvenient places.  These are all intentional acts of meanness.  Especially the freaking jeans!  I counted on you to be with me forever!  You made my booty look so good, you fit me on skinny days and days when I ate too much candy.  You ripped at the most inconvenient place and then Express stopped making you and my heart was forever broken, shattered really, into a bajillion unsalvageable pieces.

The serindipity of meanness is that you are able to fixate on their meanness and find it's core.  You can then evaluate what about their actions or words--or lack there of--most hurt you and use it to your advantage!  You can use it to learn what never to do.  I know that I will be using this Meanness Learning Theory in my life to better myself.  And that's really all you can do.  You can't make people be unmean.  You can't erase what they said or did.  That's impossible.  However, every experience is an experience to learn.  And learn from them I shall.


Have you ever heard For Good from Wicked?  Well, below are some of my favorite lyrics from that song.

I think this statement is 100% true.  I know that I've learned most of the things, habits, traits (both good and bad) from what I have observed and experienced from relationships both good and bad.  I obviously believe in Serindipity and I think I'm the person I am now because of the things I have seen modeled.  I've heard that everyone is either a lesson or a blessin'.  Use the good and the bad.  Some of the best lessons I've learned have come from sucky people.  I dated someone for a while who just strung me along.  I didn't put a stop to it sooner because I was afraid and had him so high up on a pedestal that I thought this was perfectly acceptable behavior.  It wasn't and I learned that instead of stringing someone along, you should cut them loose.  (I also learned to never let myself be that girl ever again.  Only strong warrior Erins are allowed)  I took this lesson and executed it.  I went on a date with a guy and just wasn't feeling it.  I told him I didn't want to see him anymore.  Did it hurt?  Not really--that's how I knew it wasn't for me.  Was it awkward and did I feel bad?  Absolutely!   But guess what?  As someone who has been strung along for a while, I knew I did the right thing.  He liked me and I didn't like him.  I knew it was less painful to execute it this way rather than develop a faux-lationship that would end up hurting him in the long run.  

This quote I know is true!  Did you ever realize, months or even years later, that a certain person (either good or bad) was meant to help you become a better person?  I have.  One of my biggest life lessons (thus far...) was that I could survive a break up and move on and be even better than before!  I also learned, from horrible girls in my high school, that I could eat lunch alone and have everyone talk about you (trust me when you live in a town that is as small as mine this is catastrophic to an 18 year old) that you will survive and move on and become greater than they will ever be.  That sounds stuck up and snobby, but guess what?  I don't care.  I am successful and unapologetic for my success.  Everyone should be this way.  Not rude about it though, but unapologetic about their successes.  I learned what constitutes a good friendship:  honesty, laughter, randomness, TMI's, and being happy for one another.  

I think people come into your life and teach you lessons that you need to learn at the exact time in which you need to learn them.  I know that the lessons that I have learned will make me a better person.    Sometimes I actually hear myself say,  OOOO, Erin, someone did the exact thing you are about to do to you and you didn't like it.  This kind of self-correct is imperative to my development as a human.  Coincidentally, know that this is a two way street.  Know that your actions are a lesson to someone else.  Always be kind.  Above all things, think of how your action or your words will affect someone else.  I know I've hurt people and I regret doing that.  However, I also know that I have learned from it and will apply that serindipitous learning experience to my future.  

In life you get what you give and if you give off mean you will get mean.  Karma is funny like that.  As my good friends on The Big Bang Theory proclaim, "Karma is practically Newtonian--for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."  

xoxo and don't be mean!  And as Ellen always says:

-E

Photo Sources:

http://simply--quotes.tumblr.com/post/31215175184/for-good-wicked-1

http://show-lyrics.tumblr.com/tagged/wicked

http://www.ellentv.com/2013/02/11/quote-of-the-day-its-kindness-week/

My Take On The 23 Things To Do Instead of Getting Engaged at 23 and Backlash Nonsense

Hello Friends!

Ok, have you all read that article 23 Things To Do Instead of Getting Engaged at 23?

If you haven't, here's the link:

http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/

I read it, I chuckled, got offended, reevaluated my life, assessed my life is pretty damn great, and moved on.  Then, I started seeing all of this backlash about the article and people fervently defending young marriage.  It basically boiled down to two camps:  Those who are engaged at 23 and those who are not.  Well, let me be the Bering Strait, of sorts, in regards to this discussion.  I think we all need to take a chill, take a big drink of grateful, and realize there are bigger fish to fry.  Honestly, my true feelings about marriage are this:  The only marriage I care about is my own.  What other people do or don't do in their marriage/their opinions about marriage are none of my business.  If your marriage doesn't affect my life or my future marriage, I really don't care.  Also, if those 23 year old marriages fail, it's not your problem/doesn't affect you/doesn't matter to you.  I think you should be happy about other people's life accomplishments.  I love seeing people get engaged (except exes--I am by no means saying you have to be happy for mean exes.  You don't.  I'm not.  I don't feel bad about it either.), married, or have babies.  I also am happy when people get to go on great vacations, graduate, get jobs, etc.  I just like when everyone's happy!  In the words of Barbra Streisand--don't ran on their parade!

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and feelings about marriage.  That is the beauty of marriage:  It is yours and your loves.  If you want a husband, wife, open, closed, with children, without children--that is yours and only your decision and right.

I personally do have friends that are 23 and engaged.  They are deliriously happy and I admire their relationship very much.  I look to their relationship as a beacon of what love actually means and I am so excited for their future.  I can't wait for them to get married and I am excited for their bright future!  Also, weddings are a blast!  Some sage Erin advice here folks--don't trust anyone who hates weddings. They are probably bitter and have unresolved issues.  Also, weddings have free food, free cake, free alcohol, and a free dj or band.  Why wouldn't you love them?  The more friends that get married, the more of all this I get to partake in.  I'm so on board!

Yes there are plenty of statistics about young marriages ending in painful divorces and there are a million reasons why marriages, with people of any age in them, fail.  These are statistics.  It's just math. It's just numbers.  Also, statistics are based on things that have happened in the past.  American marriages have a 50% success rate (optimism right there) and in this life full of uncertainties, I'll take 50% chances.  That number is high enough for me to make that proverbial leap one day.

Now that I have defended 23 year olds getting married, let me return to the article.  As a 23 year old non-engagee I feel that I have a firm enough grasp to debate the author's issues and point.  First of all, I'm putting my lucrative history degree to good use and assessing the tone of the article.  The tone is bitter my friends.  Bitter like an olive my friends.  The author needs to calm herself because no one likes a Bitter Betty.  However, she is allowed to her own opinions and I'd be a hypocrite if I pretended I haven't rolled my eyes at a lovey dovey couple or thought, oh yea that will last when I saw an engaged couple squabbling over a china pattern at Bloomingdale's.  But this was a different kind of bitter.  A bitter that comes from one too many broken hearts, one too many unreturned phone calls, one too many exes moving on way too quickly while you are left still nursing a broken heart.  It was bitter with a jealous undertone.  The worst kind of bitter there is my loves.  Anyway, here are my feelings about this:

1. Get a passport--Yes!  I condone travel!  Do it!  
2. Find your "thing"--ehh, I found my thing at age 5--I'm going to be a teacher/principal/superintendent/Secretary of Education.  Some people don't have their thing at 23 and that's ok.  You probably should look for it.  Ok, I'll condone this one.
3. Make Out With a Stranger--NO!  Absolutely not!  I know this is a point of contention in the Feminist world, but I just don't agree.  I'm not advocating this at all.  1) It's not hygienic.  People are disgusting!  Mouths are gross.  You can get diseases.  2) It's not romantic.  Call me old fashioned but I just think kisses are more important than that.  All the good kisses come from people you like or people you love.  Remember in Pretty Woman, when Viv tells Edward that she'll do anything but kiss on the mouth because it's too intimate?  It's true.  I believe in the fairy tale.
4. Adopt a Pet--only if you can afford it.
5. Start a Band--only if you're talented.
6. Bake a Cake--I'm pretty sure weddings have cake.  This really is something you could do with someone or alone. 
7. Get a Tattoo...because they're more permanent than marriage??--Cynical much?  Only get one if you are sure.  I bet there are a lotta people regretting their I heart Ginger Spice tramp stamps right about now.
8. Explore a New Religion--Whatever bakes your cake, honey.
9. Start a Small Business--In this economy?  Are  you serious?  
10. Cut Your Hair--NOOOOOO!  Never cut your hair when you are sad!  Life Rule #1!  Cutting your hair when you are sad is the primary reason I had bangs at 16.  No bueno mi amigos!  Step away from the scissors.  Back away.  Run away!  Not with the scissors, though, that's muy dangerous!
11. Date Two People at Once and See How Long It Takes To Blow Up in Your Face--UMMMM, YEAH! No.  Don't do that.  Think about how bad those other people will feel when they find out.  Their feelings will be hurt and you will get all kindsa bad karma.  Just because you are hurt is no excuse to hurt someone else.  We've all been there, it's not pretty.
12. Build Something With Your Hands--Sure!  Why not, right?  I'm building a pile of books to read!
13. Accomplish a Pinterest Project--Done!  I combined #12 & #13--I built Sangria with my hands!  Overachiever over here!
14. Join The Peace Corps--If that is what you are into, go.  
15. Disappoint Your Parents--As a perennial Good Girl, I hate disappointing my parents and actually can't remember when I last did this.  I spent the better part of my life avoiding this scenario.  My parents have given me so much that it would be a huge slap in the face to disappoint them on purpose.  Also, this has bad decisions and things I'd file under the headings of bad idea, NO, ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW ERIN, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE OR WORSE GET EXPELLED!  Any decision that will not benefit you in the long run is probably one you should stay far far away from.
16. Watch Girls Over and Over--ehh, am I the only one who thinks this show is the Emperor's New Clothes of television?  It's not funny and if that is how I'm supposed to live out my 20s, I'll pass.  I don't want to be any of those girls.  
17. Eat a Jar of Nutella In One Sitting--Done!  You got it girl!  I'm with you 100%
18. Make Strangers Feel Uncomfortable in Public Places--Why hurt people you don't know?  Unless it is form karaoke--then go forth and prosper!
19. Sign Up for Cross-Fit--Sure!  If you like it that's great!  I'm a huge believer in exercise and endorphins.  I just prefer Zumba and Pilates!
20. Hangout Naked In Front of A Window--In the age of the internet?  Are you even thinking?  
21. Write Your Feelings Down in a Blog--Duh!  I love this idea best!
22. Be Selfish--When you can be, go for it!  However, think of others and if what you are doing will hurt someone else then don't do it.
23. Go to the Philippines for Chinese New Year--If you want to.  

Do you see what I mean?  The tone was snarky and rude and actually condescending towards single people.  I like to think that my life is full.  It's full of friends, family, God, grad school, Netflix binges, vacations, travels, books, ideas, conversations, love, happiness, and of course some sadness.  I like to think I have better things to do as a single woman than eat Nutella all day.  I also think that yes, sometimes life would be easier with someone holding your hand through it all.  Somebody who is there when you come home from the end of a hard day to greet you with a hug and a kiss and tell you that it's all going to be okay.  But, I don't have that and I'm not going to trivialize my friends' life choices because they have that.  I'm a tough girl and there is a sort of satisfaction in knowing that I accomplished all that I have without holding (except for a very brief time lolz) anyone's hand.  I did it myself and alone and that makes me know that I can do most things alone--and that's OK!  

But as my blog's namesake clearly states, Serindipity is a fortunate accident and therefore I believe that I am exactly where I should be.  God doesn't think I'm ready for a diamond and husband and mortgage payments, and babies, and joint tax returns, and nerf gun fights in my living room (believe me, my husband and my nerf gun fights will be...wait for it...legendary!) yet and who am I to disagree with Him?  One of my favorite quotes is Just because you aren't there yet doesn't mean that you won't get there.  I'm just meant to travel a different path right now.  That doesn't mean that I'm not happy for my friends that are getting married and that doesn't mean that they are happy for me when I accomplish a life goal.  

Life's too short to be anything but happy!  I'm just enjoying my life right now and I'm enjoying (even more) going to my friends' weddings and celebrating their lives!  

So don't be bitter and in my girl Ellen's words:  Be kind to one another!

xoxo,

Erin

What Shoveling The Snow Is Not

Welcome to Snowstorm Hercules NJ!

I had another post, a more serious musing, scheduled for today but I will post that one later.  Try not to let the anticipation kill you.

Well, first some background info to help your schema's adapt and better comprehend the incoming information.  Deb usually shovels us out.  Mostly because she's quite the outdoors woman a speech therapist and is off for snow days.  Dylan has helped her in the past as has my dad, but Dylan was needed at work (some people need their alcohol okay people regardless of if we have a State of Emergency) and my dad had to go to work, too.  So I do the nice daughter thing and text Deb asking if she could wait til 10 to start shoveling.  (I'm not a morning person and texting is the only form of communication I partake in before I'm "officially awake")  She replied don't help me stay in and be warm.  Deb has a process and doesn't like us to mess up her work.  So I was a good little daughter and obliged.  Well, Hurricane Daddy came in bawking about me getting up to help my mother.  Did you ever notice that when parents want you to help someone they always make it your relative.  Like go help your father in the garage.  No parent would ever say go help my husband in the garage.  No because then they would feel obliged to help them.  Tricky little thing discourse is, isn't it?  I digress.  So I get up put on my winter clothes and then try to find a non baseball hat.  Found one, from an American Girl Match My Doll outfit I rocked in Intermediate School.  hashtag lookinghot!  And trudge out their.  I shoveled for about 45 minutes and then we were done.  (Yes we have a snow blower but it never seems to be working.  Also, no one listens to me when I say, 'let's just go buy a new one?')  So here is a collective of things I thought about/complained about/hated.


What I said or thought before and during/excuses as to why I shouldn't/don't want to be Snow Shoveling Erin:

• I don't want to.
• I don't own snow pants. (Also, this is not a gift opportunity.  It is my choice not to own them so I can avoid all snow removal related activities)
• My jaw feels like it's tightening up
• You do it
• It's too cold
• Can I pay my way out of this?
• Dylan should have stayed home to help Deb.  He really doesn't pull his own weight here.
• My back hurts from Pilates
• This is a boy job.
• My hat makes my hair look stupid.
• I don't care if it's a good workout
• In my wedding vows my husband will say, "I promise to love, honor, and shovel the snow out for you."  And mine will say, "I promise to love, honor, and have chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven when you come in from shoveling said snow."
• Seriously, how much could that township fine be?  Can we just pay it?
• Why did I ever think this was fun to play in?  It's freaking cold out here!
• That's it!  I'm leaving!  I'm moving to San Diego.  It's warm, they have a beach, and if it ever does snow I'll be way ahead of the game.  
• Deb is so young, she can totally do this herself.  She's a trailblazer both figuratively and literally.  
• Is sleeping through this worth getting yelled at and Catholic Guilted?  *The answer is yes*
• I'm going to figure out the engineering behind dog sled snow removal.  Get ready, Cody!
• My eyes are frozen.  NO ONE BELIEVED ME!

What Shoveling Snow Is Not:

• Winter Crossfit
• An opportunity to defy and reestablish gender roles
• An opportunity to show off how cute my hot pink Hunter boots are
• An opportunity to dance on the ice (you will get yelled at for A) Dangerous activity B) That's not helping)
• Fun.  It sucks.
• A place to be without my sunglasses.
• Ugh, I can't run into get my sunnies because I'll traipse mud and slush through the house thus getting yelled at even more.
• A time for my iPod to play the songs I NEVER listen to!  My hands are frozen into my gloves and I can't change the song.  Side note, "tech gloves" never seem to work when you need them to.  I don't wanna jam to the Romeo & Juliet Overture.  
• A place for a logical/meaningful/important/any at all conversation.  My ears are frozen off...plus I'm listening to some very loud classical music now and I can't do anything about it.  I'm gonna nod at you until you stop talking.  Also, if you could use hand gestures and pointing to clue me in over here, I would greatly appreciate it.  
• A place for me to bang my shovel on the ground and say:

• Oh, wow, really?  Yes I did shovel a lot I'm so proud of myself.  SAID NO ONE EVER.  This is not a place to see my accomplishments of snow removal.  I don't care if, "Look you shoveled all of this!"  I did not want to be here in the first place.

My feelings in video form:

I DO NOT CARE

So, now I'm all done.  It really wasn't that bad.  I'm off to enjoy some snow day appropriate activities like reading, eating, watching movies, marathoning Netflix, wear yoga pants, have a hot mess hair day.

Anyway,  I hope every stays safe and warm this snowy snowy snow day.  Don't shovel too much!  

xoxo,

Erin

Photo Sources:

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3r3ag4 (Christmas Vacation)

http://www.troll.me/meme/you-shall-not-pass (Gandolf)

http://indiependentmind.tumblr.com/post/49085322649/chandler-bing-is-my-alter-ego (Chandler)

Video Sources:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUASznyVWd4