Serindipity: fears

Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts

Saturday, May 10, 2014

I'm Scared of The Dark

Happy Saturday!

I've been MIA for very good reasons (finals/TWS/interviews/demo lessons) but now I'm back! (from outer space, I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face...sorry when the opportunity presents itself to quote Gloria Gaynor, you gotta take it!)

Today I will tell you all about one of the scariest nights of my whole entire 23 years of life. If after this post you deem my life totally bland if this is truly one of the scariest night of your life, so be it. You should know I have 2 great life fears: cats and the dark. Terrified of both. No reason as to why, I just am terrified.

So my parents went to Virginia to pick up Dylan (because I loathe long car rides I ~~selflessly~~ volunteered to stay home and dogsit Cody) on Thursday night. I had a demo lesson that day anyway (I'll recap them later) and so I stayed home alone.

Most 23 year old's reaction to their parents leaving them alone for 24 hours:

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This is Erin's reaction to being left home alone at 23:

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singing into the camera (or iPhone)

Yup, fam's gone aka time to start my concert!

Well, not yet...because when I walk in I see that the microwave and oven clock's are both off. My immediate thought:

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A MURDERER IS IN MY HOUSE! Come on this has slasher movie written all over it!

Then, logic and reality hit me and I think, well, maybe it's not a murderer. Maybe we had a small power outage? Yeah, that's what happened.

Just incase, I decide I need to get something to protect myself incase a murderer does decide to break in and kill me. I think back to the 2 years I lived on the outskirts of Trenton and grabbed a knife to stash on my bed stand. (Trenton is one of the most dangerous cities in the U.S. people) Oh, yes, go ahead judge, but you do it, too! It's totally normal...?...right?...no?

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So, armed and fabulous, ~~trying to erase murderers from my mind~~ I curl up in my ugly jammies, ate some left over take out, and cleared the DVR of all the old Real Housewives of OC. You know the good stuff my parents detest and therefore I have to watch when no one is home.

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In my dreams this is what I look like this watching TV alone

In reality it's much more like this:

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So what does my over active brain do next? Think about murderers, Law & Order SVU, Criminal Minds, you know...the usual fun things! After thinking that I might die, I just watched an episode of Eric & Jessie and finally decided death was not imminent. So I sent my little self to bed and guess what? I'm just brushing my teeth and then TSZKTSZK the lights go out! Well, it's 11:30 ~~and the club is jumping jumping~~ and I was like Oh NO!

Standing in front of the mirror, in the dark, with the just the deafening sound of the electric toothbrush scaring me almost to death I think yup, this is how I'm going to die. People will probably think that I lost an epic Bloody Mary stand off.

PANIC! SHEER PANIC!

Through my fear stricken fog, I wade my way to my phone (and knife) so I can have some sort of light. My phone is almost out of battery but I call my Deb all scared. She tells me to calm down (too late for that nonsense) and said my dad will call PSE&G. She tells me where the lantern is so I won't be all alone in the dark. So off I go to get the lantern and decide my best bet (in case it is a murderer) start walking with the knife ahead of me like a bayonet. Straight up Revolutionary War soldier status! I'm thinking, OHMYGOD! THE MURDERER BROKE IN, CHANGED THE CLOCKS DANE COOK B&E STYLE AND NOW HE'S CUT THE ELECTRICITY AND I'M GOING TO DIE.

PSE&G says the lights will be back on by 7 am. That is 7.5 hours too far away! So I'm sitting here talking to Deb, telling her how I'm sure I'm a goner. Cody, the ferocious beast who barks viciously at blowing leaves, is petrified and hiding under me! ME?! Great, now I have to defend the warrior who is supposed to be the saver! He's going to be no help if there really is a murderer in here. Also, Deb's constant "calming words" of you're going to be fine, you're not going to be murdered, Erin just go to bed--it's the same as being asleep. (FYI No It Is Most Certainly Not)

My reaction?

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No...smh...no

Yeah Deb because a kitty is the exact same thing as a panther! And a goldfish is the same as a shark. The difference lies in the physics of it all. If I'm sleeping and there is electricity, I can open my eyes and see the light. If I'm sleeping and I open my eyes and there is NO electricity, I can open my eyes and see terror and ghosts and murderers and really absolutely nothing because it's pitch black!! How is that the same? Answer: IT'S VURRRRY VURRRRY DIFFERENT! As different as Grace Kelly and Kim Kardashian. Yes their last names both start with K's but that's where the similarities end, y'all!

The lights zzzz back on after 15 long minutes. 15 minutes too long! It was terrifying. Imagine your worst fear coming to fruition when you are all alone. SCARY!

Friday Dylan came home and life restored it's normal balance in the Kitley family home. Inappropriate jokes, lotsa laughs, and gooberish pranks can resume.

Life is good...with the lights on that is!

Do you have irrational fears of the dark? Is it just me? Are you supposed to grow out of this by the time you're 7?

xoxo,

-E

Sunday, October 6, 2013

No Fear Vegan Eats

Heeeeeyyyyyyy!!

Do you remember those No Fear Shakespeare books from high school? I do! They had the modern day translation on the left and the real Shakespearean text on the right side of the page. They made reading Shakespeare more digestible to those who were a little nervous about jumping in full force. GET THEE TO A NUNNERY! Sorry...that's my favorite Shakespearean line. Okay back to food and Philly fun! Well HipCityVeg is the No Fear Veganland! It's real vegan food but with non-vegan sounding menu items.
So last weekend my lovely long-time-no-see roomie and I went to one of our favorite places ever--Philly<3 My love affair with this city is no secret. I phind it so phabulous because it is the loveliest marriage of history, shopping, glamour, sports, and restaurants. I love seeing Cara because she is soooo funny & I miss her as my roommate! Growing up I specifically wanted a brother because I did not want to share my room...EVER! I like my own space, my own room, and I'm definitely not the biggest sharer of my personal stuff. I just like my own stuff, you know? Well Cara and I are perfect roomies because we get that about each other. She gets that I need my own space and I get that she does, too. We work well together. Sometimes I think it's hard to live with your best friend because it's just too much time together. Well, Cara and I lived together for 3 years and we totally worked/never got tired of each other. I'm sure that I got on her nerves but she never said anything. I miss having her 6 feet away from me at all times.

Anyway, I digress. We wanted to try something new for dinner and we wanted veggies! We tried vegan food! We went to HipCityVeg for dinner. Let me tell you...this was fantastic! The BEST DINNER I'VE HAD IN A LOOOOOONG TIME!! I had a Groothie (the cure to my missing green juice from the farmer's market) and a Buffalo Bella! Oh my LAWD it was daaalish! Goodness! Hold on, I'm dreaming about it right now...okay I'm back! I lerved it! The best way I can describe it is a little vegan burger from heaven! It was a "crispy portobella, celery slaw, tomato & buffalo sauce" (http://hipcityveg.com/menu/)!! The burger was AMAZEBALLS! It was a giant mushroom!!! I love buffalo sauce and I think we could be very happy together! I'm definitely going back! I think I'm gonna stick to my typical Erin maxim of always eating the same thing every time I go to a restaurant. Maybe I'll try something new...but probably not because the Buffalo Bella was AMAZEBALLS!

I know that the idea of vegan food scares some people but I want to squelch those that are fearful of vegan eats! Don't be scared! Was it my beloved chicken burger with feta? No. Was it equally dalish just different? Yup! Don't be scared of vegan food. It's not gross and mushy and blecky. It's fantastic! It is so flavorful I didn't even miss the turkey or chicken.

HipCityVeg is a cool urban place located in the Rittenhouse Square neighborhood. It's more of a takeout place so we decided to picnic in the Park. After eating our mucho deliciouso dinner we took pictures (obvi) and we found a cute frog statue! We decided to do a One Frog Closer to Prince Charming themed photo shoot! So cute! While Cara was posing and be cute I saw my biggest. darkest. scariest. most feared. life fear. EVER! RATS! Mice/Rats/Vermin/Rodents are my biggest fear in life! In college there was a mouse in my apartment and even though I never saw it, and it was contained to the pantry, I NEVER WENT IN THAT PANTRY AGAIN! (I also have a fear of cats but that's a different story) So I screamed and did the Erin's Afraid Pose aka I curl up in the fetal position while still standing. It's...um...interesting to see! Well, I must have screamed loudly because everyone in the park starting laughing at me. Womp Womp. I'm glad I made everyone else laugh. Winning, right? So a few minutes later we changed locations in the park and were taking a Fred Astaire Singing In The Rain-esque photo, when an onlooker said, "Look out for the RAT!" I cowered again in fear and she laughed. LAUGHED at me!! There was no rat, but she didn't need to embarrass me on purpose. Not cool. Anyway...then we walked around and went down to the world famous LOVE statue and took some shots. Cara was joined by a sweet teenage skateboarder. He posed just like her. So sweet!!

Philly was Phab as always! I love my city and I can't wait to go back! I'm having a Big Philly Weekend in a few weeks and I can't wait to explore the arts and cultural side of the City of Brotherly Love!

Have a Great Monday!!

-Erin

Some Pics From The Night